How to find a girl: 5 Amazing steps

13 min


find a girl

Find a girl: It is rare to meet a man who would forever connect his fate with the first girl he liked. Most often, representatives of the stronger sex go through periods in life when it seems that their main goal is to communicate with as many women as possible, of different ages and types.

But in the end, this gamble loses its meaning, because sooner or later, men’s values change. Moreover, any constant variety becomes monotony.

Another category should include guys who have never been strong in communication with the opposite sex, and having solemnly accepted the status of “actively searching”, they go through life in proud solitude, hugging their tired pillow in the mornings instead of their beloved woman.

As an alternative, you can connect your own life path with a mediocre girl, convincing yourself that this is the very fate from which there is no escape.

In general, it doesn’t matter what category of men you belong to, moreover, such a classification is rather arbitrary, but all guys, without exception, periodically ask themselves how to find a girl to start a relationship with her?

Don't be obsessed with finding a girl

#1. Don’t be obsessed with the desire to find a girl

Paradoxically, for many men, one of their main obstacles in finding a relationship is the very desire to find a girl.

They are obsessed with this need, demonstrating obsessive behavior and acting as a needy person. And when guys meet a girl they like, they usually scare her off for the reason given.

When a woman feels that a man is too interested in her, his desperate zeal at any cost to achieve a girl can only have the opposite effect.

Don’t get your head too full thinking about how to find a girl. Instead, allow the relationship process to develop naturally, otherwise, you clearly broadcast to the world around you that you are ready to do everything possible to win women’s favor.

Such thinking is akin to suicidal thinking.

Women like men who choose for themselves with whom they will communicate. And it is with this philosophy that you should walk through life if you want to be with a bright girl who knows her worth.

#2. Don’t make hasty conclusions

Don't jump to conclusions

Another mistake many men make is the desire to get ahead of events. Nothing is clear and understandable yet, and castles in their heads have already been fully erected, in which a new acquaintance resides in the image of her beloved wife.

Guys catch sight of a girl they like, and in the short term, they start fantasizing about kissing and romantic dates. They are in love with a little-known beauty even before they begin to communicate with the girl.

In this way, men send an unambiguous message to their minds that they are under the impression and are attracted to this person. Guys are absolutely convinced that she is exactly the perfect girl that they have always dreamed of.

As a result, they focus all their attention on the new acquaintance, ignoring other options and flaunting their ingratiation and neediness. This behavior, having special negative effectiveness, kills all the chances of a favorable outcome of communication.

Be sure your mind is deceiving you!

You think that this girl is exceptional and has some unique qualities. But in reality, there are thousands of American girls living on this planet, who will be able to become a source of expression of the same feelings.

A truly true mental attitude is this: there is no one and only, but there are many possibilities.

Hide your obsession far away and instead focus on creating an abundance of women in your life.

Instead of being a consistent monogamous romantic, focusing your energy on one girl, start arranging a large number of dates with many different women.

When you have a large circle of female communication, regardless of whether all your friends are suitable for you as a girl for a relationship or not, you become a man who has a choice.

Now you dictate your terms and begin to look more objectively at the new women you know, more accurately determining your true attitude to them, because you have been able to eliminate the prism of fear, uncertainty, neediness and ingratiation.

When the right girl comes into your life, you will know it immediately. But you also realize that there can be many such women.

When you can develop the peace of mind, girls will immediately notice it, and the level of your attractiveness in their eyes will rush up, which will greatly facilitate your movement in the desired direction.

#3. Meet a girl

Meet a girl

You will not be able to find a girl if you don’t meet her. But initially, you need to find out what kind of girl you want to find.

Then you should go to those places where women, as they say, are found, to meet a girl and develop communication with her, ending it with an exchange of contacts.

After receiving the phone number, you must ask the girl out on a date.

So, let’s go.

1. Define your goal

You need to develop a clear idea of what type of girl you need, mentally drawing an image and revealing the features of a future lover in the smallest details.

Think about the girls you liked, whom you knew in your life, and their qualities that have sunk into your soul.

Your task is to determine the most complete and conscious vision of your goal, without forcing yourself into too rigid a framework.

Be careful when choosing the physical characteristics of the girl, because otherwise you will inadvertently exclude from the area of your attention beautiful people that you really would be crazy about. Don’t be too picky, but don’t give slack in critical moments for you.

A study conducted in 2008 shows that men are much more likely to talk to girls when they know who they want to meet.

In addition, later you will be surprised that if you define your goal, the girls who correspond to it will begin to appear in your life much more often.

To increase your chances of finding a girl faster, try visualization.

2. Determine a place to meet a girl

If you decide not to correspond with a girl in order to get acquainted through the Internet, you will have to go out on the street in order to establish contact with an unfamiliar beauty.

By the way, great news: now you know what kind of girl you want to find. For you, it also means that now, based on the type of girl you have defined, you can set the search location for her.

For example, if you want to meet girls who love sports, it makes sense to visit sports events or a gym.

It’s not so easy to find sports girls in the library. But if you need a girlfriend who loves books, the library can be the perfect place for your fighting.

You should consider the various places that a large number of people visit. In some of them, there will be more girls suitable for you, in others – less, in the third – there will be no more. The only way to find out is to go there and look around.

3. Running up to the girl

So we have come to the most frightening component of Dating a girl for many guys. To be honest, there is nothing wrong with establishing contact with a girl, all you need is training and gaining experience. In fact, this is the most interesting part of Dating, and it’s true.

Now that you have determined for yourself what kind of girl you want to find, and where to find her, you should start approaching girls and communicating with them.

Don’t worry about your excitement, because it is absolutely normal. And in general, approaches to girls are only of two types: successful and training, so you are always in profit.

Imagine that this is a game, and you started all this not to achieve any goal, but just for fun because it is fun. And this is really fun!

Try to approach at least three new girls a day, which will result in you talking to more than 20 girls in one week.

If this pace is too hard for you, determine for yourself an acceptable intensity. For example, you can get acquainted on weekends, as well as bring a partner to this business. But remember that at the very beginning, the main aspect is the systematic nature of your actions.

4. Be sociable

The easiest way to relieve tension and relax when communicating with girls is simply to become sociable.

Be sociable with everyone: with neighbors, elderly and young people, traffic controllers, sellers and buyers in line at the store, and everyone else.

When you become sociable, it’s as if you’re building up your communication muscles. This may sound silly and too banal, but as soon as you start talking to strangers, the communication turns into a fun game, and the fear goes away.

When you start talking to girls, engage them in dialogue just like you do with everyone else.

Women are not some strange and incomprehensible creatures. You don’t need to dance a lezginka for a girl or perform a solo song, just talk to her as if she were an ordinary person.

Ask her about how she spent the day, find out what she is doing here, comment on the book she is reading, and share her opinion about your surroundings.

As you become more social and develop your Dating skills with girls, you begin to get a lot more signals from them to encourage you to start communicating with them.

You may not have learned to pick them up yet, but in 1985, scientists found that women constantly signalmen that they are ready to meet them. You just need to get their attention and then respond to their subtle signs.

5. Flirt with a girl

When you talk to a new friend, you should start flirting. Don’t worry if you haven’t flirted with girls before, because it’s not complicated.

A simple and effective example of nonverbal flirting is to put a half-smile on your face and look at the girl out of the corner of your eye. Do this if she says something stupid or unbelievable.

Example of verbal flirting: pick a harmless lead and tease the girl with it. If she eats pizza or potato chips, say ” Wow! So you’re a fan of junk food!” If she’s reading a book, you might say “wow, what are you putting in your head with?” Don’t forget to use a playful voice so that the girl knows that you are just joking.

Flirting is necessary to make your intentions clear to a woman in a playful way. Otherwise, either the girl doesn’t understand what you want from her (And what if you decided to make something for her? Or maybe you want to become friends with her?), Or your true plan will be too obvious, something like “Girl, I like you. Let’s get acquainted, after which we jump in the bed at my house, and then you will become my girlfriend.”

6. Exchange phone numbers

Everything you do, whether it’s planning, approaching a girl, communicating with her, or flirting with her, will not bring any benefit if you don’t exchange contacts with a new friend.

You can simply suggest exchanging phone numbers: “Let’s exchange phone numbers. Give me the number.”

But you can do something slightly different, for example, say: “Let’s meet in the middle of the week and have a Cup of coffee.” If the girl agrees, then ask for her phone number.

#4. Preparing for a date with a girl

Preparing for a date with a girl

1. A message with an intrigue

About three hours after you say goodbye to the girl, after exchanging phone numbers, you can send her a text message. The purpose of the message is to remind the girl about yourself and interest her.

The text may be, for example, like this: “By the way, you have delicious eau de toilette.”

But if you really want to create intrigue, write the following: “I think I know something about you.” And when the girl asks “So what?”, You will not send her a message but answer only the next day “This is very personal. Better when you meet. ” In response to requests to explain everything in correspondence, you should stand your ground.

It is difficult for you to imagine what effect such a turn of events will take, because the most interesting information for any person is the one that is associated with his personality, and at the same time is hidden under the cover of mystery.

At the time of your date, you will be able to make the girl emotionally closer to you without actually doing anything, because all the time she will be thinking about you and what you know.

When you meet and she asks, so what do you really know, you can answer:

  1. You have beautiful blue eyes.
  2. You have a very nice smile.
  3. I’ve noticed one thing about you that many men don’t care about, but it’s very important to me. Most modern girls are quite frivolous about the relationship between a guy and a girl, but you are not like that. You are ready to completely give yourself up to feelings but only with the person who you really like very much and sincerely.

2. Dating Planning

If you decide to have a date with a girl, you can choose one of three options:

  1. A quick date.
  2. A combined date
  3. A comfortable date.

The choice depends on the interest that you feel in relation to yourself on the part of the girl.

If you feel that the level of interest is not too high, it is better to make the decision to hold a quick date. In this case, you should meet the girl in a cafe, and the duration of communication is recommended to set within no more than one hour. You simply talk to the girl, let her get to know you better, and then end the date by telling her that you have to run.

When you are sure that the girl is definitely interested in you, choose a combined date that involves several stages that the girl will not know about in advance. You can take her for a ride by car, stopping in some beautiful place in nature, then visit a cafe, and then walk with her along the embankment. As a result, changing places and events will create the effect of not the first, but at least the second date, bringing you closer to the desired outcome.

If you meet a girl who likes you very much, choose a comfortable date. All you need to do in this case is simply invite the girl to your favorite place. This can be an option that appeals to you most, for example, a walk through the streets of the city, visiting a cafe or amusement Park.

Once you have chosen a date option, it’s time to determine the details: where you will meet the girl, and what you will do with her.

You can plan this way:

  1. Meeting with a girl next to such a store.
  2. The path to the cafe.
  3. Chat with a girl for 45 minutes.
  4. End of communication.

By planning a date in advance, you can gain control over it, avoid awkward moments, and eliminate uncertainty in making the most important decisions.

However, don’t take planning too seriously and don’t try to make the date too difficult. And certainly don’t plan all your words and actions.

3. Invitation to a date

Now, after a few days of Dating, it’s time to call the girl and ask her out on a date.

If you called and the girl didn’t answer, call back in about an hour. If the girl does not answer the phone again, it is better never to call her again.

Still, anything can happen, so if a girl doesn’t answer the first call, send her a text message. In this case, the silence on her part will be an excuse for you to call another girl.

#5. From a date to a relationship with a girl

From a date to a relationship with a girl

1. Make your date a fun and playful event

Dating is not something important or responsible, and it is certainly not like taking an exam or passing a job interview.

The girl will try to decide whether you are the person in whom she will want to invest her time and emotions, the one who can become one of the most important people in her life.

In order for a girl to make a choice in your favor, in addition to the presence of fundamental male qualities, one of the most important elements of attraction will be of great importance – your fun playful behavior, as well as flirting.

Women are always able to properly appreciate a sense of humor. If you are having a boring date and you are clearly trying to impress the girl, instead of being sarcastic, teasing, and flirting while having fun, you are unlikely to succeed.

2. Investing in communication

People value the relationships they are invested in. And the more they are invested, the higher the value of the investment object becomes.

Why does this happen?

You probably know this trick: when you are having fun, you smile, but when you are sad, and you start to smile, you will have fun.

For the same reason, when a girl loves, she begins to do something for her lover, but when she voluntarily begins to do something for a new acquaintance, she slowly accidentally falls in love with him.

Most guys take all the responsibility for building a relationship on their shoulders at the very beginning, and as a result, they fall in love with the girl, while she can’t feel that elusive spark that is so necessary for her.

To come out as a winner in such situations, you should push the girl to start investing in the relationship. And we are not talking about renting your girlfriend a limousine or buying you an expensive watch.

Instead, invite her to show you interesting photographs that she mentioned in the communication process, or treat you to her delicacy. Ask her to sit next to you, bring napkins, cut zucchini, buy chewing gum, etc.

Just look for seemingly insignificant ways to do something for you, and you yourself will notice that her passion for dating and your person will only increase.

3. The ending of a date

  1. Ending a date without a kiss.
  2. Ending the date with a kiss.
  3. Invitation to the girl to your home.

Here, boys, we will have to act on the circumstances.

If you yourself didn’t really like communication, then there’s nothing to try to give your girlfriend a kiss with, it will interrupt. Save your energy for a more interesting beauty.

When you feel that a girl was comfortable in your company, it is better not to let her go without trying to kiss her.

If the date goes well, and you and the girl do not feel like putting an end to tonight, invite her to your home.

Keep in mind that if your companion is young enough, then if you accept your invitation, you should think about whether she is an easily accessible girl.

4. Second date

After a perfect first date, take a one day break, then contact the girl and ask her out on a second date.

Try to schedule an appointment as soon as possible. If the girl is free on the day of your call, why delay? Make a second date tonight.

In the development of relationships, speed is important. The less time that passes from the moment of your acquaintance to intimate events, the more likely you are not to fall into the category of friends.

5. Intimacy

After the second date, you may need a third meeting.

By the way, in order to have balances and more easy communication with your girlfriend, make appointments to other girls in parallel. Moreover, at the current stage of communication, nobody knows your new friend, because, in fact, the relationship begins after the first sexual contact.

Use different places to conduct dates, while remaining the same interesting and fun companion.

Don’t forget to touch and hug the girl, because tactile sensations are an important step in the development of trust and comfort.

At the end of the date, invite the girl home to consolidate what you started.

6. You found a girl

As already mentioned, intimacy is the starting point in a relationship between a man and a woman. Most likely, but…

Even after the first night spent together, don’t give yourself up to feelings, keep yourself in control. A girl can get emotional and then change her behavior.

It is quite possible that she is in love with someone else, and you are just an option for her to satisfy her physiological needs. And in general, during the first 6 months of a relationship with a girl, keep a healthy distance.

Despite this, we recommend that you do the following:

  1. Don’t take a long break the next day to contact a girl.
  2. Establish an emotional connection with your girlfriend.
  3. Start spending time together systematically.

In the morning after the girl leaves, send her a message: “the night was beautiful. I hope you’re not too tired :)”.

In the near future, again make an appointment with the girl, but then you know what to do.


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