Friendzone: what is it, how to get out of friendzone

13 min


friendzone

Friendzone (friendship zone) is a situation where a guy (girl), being on friendly terms with a girl (guy) in reality has stronger romantic feelings and wants to become someone more than just a friend.

The term “friend zone” was first used in the episode “The One with the Blackout” of the comedy television series “Friends”, released on November 3, 1994.

More often than not, another person doesn’t know about the true attitude of himself on the part of his friend and is completely satisfied with the current state of things, maintaining friendly relations.

As a result, the guy or girl gets stuck in the friend zone, being unable to move from the status of a friend to the desired role of a lover.

Being stuck in a friendship zone and hoping for more is a weak disappointing attitude, which leads to strong negative feelings and wasted time.

Reasons for creating a friendzone

Reasons for creating a friend zone

1. Your intentions are not clear to the girl

How is a girl supposed to know that you like her more than just a friend if you behave like a brother to her?

2. You are afraid of rejection

Do you want the hard truth? In this case, it is quite possible that the girl will reject you. But there is nothing wrong with that; on the contrary, it is perfectly natural.

If you decide to find a girl, you should know that in the process of dating, many of them will refuse you, but the more interesting the game is.

Rejection doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. A girl may have a million reasons not to want to develop an acquaintance with you.

But if the girl is not against continuing to communicate with you, while determining the status of a friend for you, most likely, you are behaving incorrectly with her.

3. Lack of sexual desire

Everything is easy and simple. If a girl doesn’t see you as her boyfriend, she will define the role of a friend for you.

The best way to avoid and exit the friend zone is to make up for your attractiveness.

Male attractiveness to women is not a logical choice when a girl wakes up one day and says, ” Yes! I love him!”

What you need to do is to evoke the necessary emotions in the girl. Don’t persuade, don’t plead, don’t use arguments. You need to turn on the attractiveness switch.

It should be noted that sometimes it is much easier to find a new beautiful girl than to try to change an ingrained bland attitude to yourself.

Reasons for lack of sexual desire
1. The effect is a nice guy

Is it possible to be too good? Very easy when it comes to relationships with women.

Girls rarely do rational things. Of course, they like to complain that many men behave badly, seem immature and unprepared for serious relationships.

However, in female behavior, it is not difficult to detect a tendency to ignore the “good “and choose the “bad guys”.

This doesn’t mean that girls demand a shitty attitude, but according to women, the so-called “bad guys” seem to them more interesting and mysterious, and their confidence and spontaneity are attractive and sexy.

Girls are always ” on the topic” and clearly understand the possibility of harm caused by such men, but the subconscious forces them to ignore this fact, hoping that “this particular guy will be different”

Paradoxically, if you show healthy selfishness, as well as the ability to say “no” from time to time, you are more likely to interest the girl.

2. You are not her type

In general, this is true: women, like men, have their own type of representative of the opposite sex, which is preferred when choosing a sexual partner.

But how often you can hear from the lips of the girls “I always liked other guys, such as Petya. But when I met Vasya, I forgot about everything in the world! ”

If you start a conversation with girls on this topic, they will begin to reason logically, Recalling the traits that they would like to see in their man, but don’t take it seriously.

Women believe that if a girl is attracted to older guys, she will identify young guys in the friend zone. If a girl is engaged in business and has a decent income, she will not be impressed by an ordinary guy with average income. If she likes tall, muscular men, then she will not pay attention to a short intellectual. If she wants a serious relationship, but you are considered a womanizer, the girl will wave to you.

But even when a girl directly tells you “You are not my type”, treat this phrase as if she did not say anything. If, of course, such words don’t sound in a rough form.

It is a man who should be responsible for the variability of the species, choosing an attractive young lady in accordance with his taste, which is not always the case.

Appearance is the most important female characteristic, no matter what anyone says. But beauty for one man in the eyes of another can be assessed as ” so-so”.

As for women, despite their commitment to men who have a certain type of appearance, the most important thing for them is still the inner world of a person, his personality, the ability to attract a girl and give her the necessary emotions.

And yet if you don’t have confidence, charisma, are afraid to sincerely Express yourself, your personality, or, at worst, don’t have the skills of seduction and pickup, in this case, your appearance is likely to play an important role.

Although if you go deeper into thinking, you can easily come to the conclusion that male attractiveness is a reflection of the inner world of a man. When a man develops from the inside, he becomes more attractive and outwardly, including because he begins to pay more attention to his appearance.

Many guys do not even think about how much you can improve your appearance, just by changing your hair and buying good clothes.

3. You are easily won over

Adults are the same children who have acquired the ability to have a serious expression on their faces.

For children, an old toy that they are comfortable with and that is always at hand ceases to have value, and the level of children’s interest in it begins to correspond to zero.

As a result, children need a new competitive toy that other children will also want to play with.

Women, like men, like to play games of love, and for them, the need to invest in relationships, make efforts and win a man is also important.

If the guy is too predictable, and his feelings are too obvious, the interest in such a man will be insignificant.

How to exit friend zone

How to log out of the friend zone

1. Accepting the situation

It is easy to convince yourself that your situation is unique and that you are not talking about a friend zone.

Perhaps you think “She is mistaken! When the time comes, she’ll realize what a great guy I am, and she’ll want to stay with me forever.”

Don’t kid yourself. She’s not going to magically change her mind because of one small thing you say or do. The attraction is much deeper.

You will need to accept:
  1. The reality of your situation.
  2. Your actions created this situation.
  3. She doesn’t need the type of guy that you are now.
  4. You will never leave the friend zone unless you change your thinking, actions, and habits.

2. Get rid of the guilt

Women are not attracted to losers, and they will certainly not allow you to leave the friend zone out of a sense of pity.

The longer you stay in the victim’s position, the more you begin to conform to it.

Don’t feel sorry for yourself, don’t be angry with yourself, don’t think of yourself as a failure, otherwise you will only make things worse.

3. Stop intrude

Stop thinking too much about the girl. This is an unhealthy behavior that can’t bring anything good into your life.

Fill your time with useful things to stop thinking about her.

Stop stalking her on social media and talking about the girl by asking your friends. Stop calling her and texting her.

Your friend won’t go away, and you won’t die if you don’t talk to her.

It is important to create a break in the pattern of habitual behavior. Let her think: “Interesting. Where did he go?”

Take your mind off it and focus on something else.

4. Become a difficult target

One of the reasons why you got into the friend zone is that you can get too easily.

You spread yourself out on a platter, give yourself away with your guts, and the girl needs a guy who will become a difficult, well, not easily accessible goal, and therefore desirable.

You don’t deserve a girl’s time and attention if she doesn’t have to invest in a relationship with you.

Have you ever noticed that men who have a spouse, a steady girlfriend, or a lot of girls seem more attractive to other women?

When a man is in demand among girls, they, feeling competition, are drawn to him, because such a character has to be won.

If you are easy prey, your value is lower than that of someone who can challenge a woman.

5. Don’t tell everyone about yourself

A detailed confession of your biography will not encourage a girl to develop a sexual attraction. On the contrary, the abundance of personal information in the hands of a friend will only remove the veil of secrecy, excitement and intrigue.

What is the reason why you are overwhelmed with interest and excitement when you meet an old acquaintance? All because he has something to tell you.

But if you saw this person every day, you wouldn’t be so excited at the moment of your meeting, if all you can hear from them that’s new is “Hello. Yes, everything is the same as before.”

By telling women everything about yourself, you extinguish the flames of intrigue with your own hands and destroy the pleasant feeling of being left unsaid.

Stop revealing the details of your life. The more a girl knows about you, the less she wants to be around you.

6. Make her miss you

If you disappear for a while, by stopping calling and texting a girl, you will allow her to realize that you are missing in her life.

It is quite possible that the friend will not remember about you, which, of course, is unlikely. But if someone has decided to put an iron bolt on your identity, think about this: why do you need such a person at all?

But most likely, the girl herself will want to know how you are doing, what you are doing, and most importantly, with whom?

To get out of the friend zone, use female curiosity. Separation makes the heart love more.

7. Reduce your interest

In the process of communicating with your friend, show less interest. If a girl has you on a short leash, she knows that you are completely at her mercy, and she can easily get you if she wants to.

By reducing interest, you become more mysterious and elusive. Women are more interested in guys who do not show excessive interest in their “royal person”.

Just don’t forget that reducing your interest and telling everyone to go to hell isn’t the same thing. Although the latter option is quite a decent choice outside the topic of this article.

If a girl tells you about other guys, you show jealousy and other bright emotional reactions, even deeper burying yourself in the pit of the friend zone.

If you are offended by the stories of a friend about her love Affairs, in no case outwardly don’t show that this is so.

Become the guy who doesn’t give a damn about all this nonsense.

8. Sit back and relax

In the presence of a girl, and surrounded by all other people, you should be calm and relaxed, because otherwise, you will acquire the aura of a tense and problematic guy who does not correspond to the status of a real man.

The next time you find yourself in the company of a girl, you will feel the excitement, go away for a couple of minutes, take a few deep breaths and relax.

You need to learn to calm your mind and body. Normalize your breathing, focus your thoughts not on yourself, but on what is around you, and you will feel better.

9. Throw it off its pedestal

The absolute majority of the members of the Friendzone club treat women too well, being their idolaters or, in other words, deer.

They believe that the better their behavior, the more compliments they pay to the girl, and the more intensely they indulge her, the better they position themselves in her eyes.

As a result, the guys are so deep in the friend zone that even the search and rescue team is not able to break them out of this trap.

Stop doing the following:
  1. To seek out her approval.
  2. Take care of her opinion.
  3. Become the most beautiful guy in the world for her sake.

Otherwise, you are showing weak behavior, which is very, very bad.

10. Stop letting her use you

If you try to ” buy” a girl by giving her gifts, paying her bills, acting as a driver on duty, she will automatically assign you to the friend zone, because this behavior kills even the rudimentary germs of respect for you.

A woman who does not respect a man will constantly use him, giving in return an eternal hope for something more, but sometime later.

The line of female thoughts is approximate as follows: “If he is so stupid as to always offer me money and hope that I can really become interested in him, then he deserves such an attitude.”

Stop being a deer. Wake up and remember that you are a man.

11. Stop solving her problems

The status of a guy who solves the problems of a girl with whom he is not in a relationship, in order to appear before her in the image of a hero or a knight in shining armor, will not allow him to leave the friend zone.

When a friend has problems, the first thing you should think about is whether saving a nice person goes against your interests.

Act as an independent man, not like an errand boy who, for some reason, owes someone something.

The girl is a self-sufficient capable adult. And if it creates problems, then let it also be responsible for solving them.

12. Don’t try to be her friend

Trying to get close to a girl by becoming her friend is a big mistake.

Don’t be the guy who:
  1. Listens to her problems on a personal front and gives her advice.
  2. Goes shopping with her.
  3. Holding her purse while she dances with other guys.
  4. Allows her to use herself as a free taxi.
  5. Constantly agrees with what she says.
  6. Invites you to a friendly tea party instead of an invitation for a date.

If you behave like this, one day a girl will say, “You’re such a great friend. I don’t want to ruin it.”

13. Learn to say ” No”

To get a girl to treat you with the necessary trepidation, start saying ” No ” no matter how much she likes you.

Saying ” No ” shows that a woman is dealing with a man who knows what he wants and is able to defend his interests no matter what.

14. Keep your feelings to yourself

You can easily cross the line between a lover and a friend if you start admitting your true feelings to a girl too soon.

In this case, it does not mean the manifestation of a natural reasonable interest in the girl, but to confess her love when nothing is clear yet, this is too ill-conceived a gesture.

Women have a wealth of experience in such matters, and they know what will happen next.

When you tell her that you want to talk and find out, she will direct you to a door that will have a sign that says “friend Zone”, simultaneously opening it in front of you.

And after you tell the girl that you love her, she will answer with a little yawn: “It’s all very, very nice.” Well, then the friend zone door will close behind you.

You should stop if you are:
  1. We decided to tell you how much you like her.
  2. You tell her how beautiful and perfect she is.
  3. You tell the girl that you are suffering from loneliness.
  4. Become boring and predictable in your communication with her.

Follow the rules. If a friend tells you that she likes you, respond in kind. If she tells you that she misses you, admit that you miss her too. But never speak to girls in the past in relation to any confession.

15. Engage in self-development

Many guys, being in the friend zone, don’t even think to improve physically, intellectually, and also pump up their financial side, including becoming more attractive in the eyes of women.

They come up with excuses, accusing girls of not understanding what they are the best on earth, and believe that the ideal woman who will appreciate them and accept them for who they are, will somehow magically appear in their lives.

If you are not engaged in self-development, don’t strive to become the best version of yourself, you reduce your chances of leaving the friend zone.

Make a habit of working on yourself every day, not even for the purpose of better positioning yourself in society, but simply because you are a man who should always strive for self-improvement.

16. Meet other girls

You are not doing anything wrong if you interact, and not only with other women. Your girlfriend is not burdened with the desire to become a part of your life, she is not your official passion or wife.

If you want to show more interest on its part, it is advisable to create competition, thereby increasing your value.

Be a man who has a choice. You don’t play games, but simply send a meta message to others that you are a valuable instance, not an object that belongs in the friend zone.

17. Stop acting from the bottom position

Your submission is the shortest way to stay in the friend zone forever.

In fact, no woman wants a man to put her on a pedestal and worship her.

She does not need power over you, because she will only be happy when she finds a strong man, next to whom she can feel like a small and meek girl.

Signs of the friend zone

Signs of the friend zone

1. She calls you a ” friend”

You can spend every day together, but the way she introduces you to her parents or friends is an important indicator of your status.

If you hear something like “This is Petya, my good friend”, you should be on your guard.

Although in any case, it was better than being introduced by her brother.

2. She avoids showing herself in public with you

You spend so much time with her during the day, but she doesn’t have a moment to spare for you in the evening.

In addition, the girl is always busy and in a hurry somewhere, if you meet her in the shopping center, offer to eat together.

At the same time, when the next day comes, you notice that she is still the same sweet and smiling friend.

3. She tells you about other guys

Perhaps this is the worst fate of the prisoners of the friend zone – to listen to her heartbreaking stories about other men that attract her attention, and you have nothing to do with this caste.

4. Date Threesome

You invited a girl to spend a date, and she brings a friend or another friend with her?

If it happened once, maybe an accident intervened, but if the situation repeats itself, there is no doubt: the friend zone is your everything.

An invitation to a movie or a coffee shop that turns into a group event without your knowledge is one of the female tactics to tell a guy, “I’m not interested in You as a man,” without saying a word.

5. Interest is absent even under the influence of alc##ol

Finally, you went to the vile trick of getting the girl drunk with hot cocktails, but she still doesn’t want to have anything serious with you.

A bad sign, and a pity for the money…

6. Between you, there is no physical contact

It should be added that we are not talking about hugs. If you hug a girl every time you see her, it doesn’t signal the presence of sexual attraction at all.

7. She doesn’t try to look her best when talking to you

When you’re Dating, does she always wear faded jeans, no makeup, and no earrings? Not very promising behavior on her part.

8. Joint shopping

If you were invited to give advice when purchasing underwear, this is one thing.

But if a girl needs you as a slave, who follows her like a dog on a leash around the Mall, carrying shopping bags in his manly hands, your prospect is very, very bleak.

9. Cute nicknames

What could be worse than letting the object of your sighing call you names in front of others “This is my familiar cuckoo”?

10. She needs your advice

She asks for advice about what is most important for a man in a woman. And I don’t think that man means you.

She is clearly interested in another guy and wondering how to attract him.

11. Co-sleeping, and nothing more

If you managed to share a bed with a girl, but there was no hint of tactile exercise, then ” loyal friend” is about you.

12. You are her loyal shoulder

Do you comfort a girl every time life trips her up?

Are you really the person next to whom she is sitting on the couch crying convulsively, constantly wondering why everything went wrong?

13. You are the only one who is invested in the relationship

Do you constantly cover for her at work, change shifts with her, help with the writing of a thesis, take her to the hot spots without being invited, spend your precious time and receive a divine “Thank you” as a dividend?

When will you Wake up?


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