Why do not need to return it? If you want a new dress to appear, get rid of the old one. Imagine that your closet is a living organism, and now it seems to be asking the Universe: “Let her sit in poverty until she decides to throw away this old, faded dress. You see, it is dear to her as a memory. But the memory is not stored in the closet, damn it! It does not necessarily hold in your hands. Fortunately, our head is a very convenient container for everything that is dear to us. Therefore, material images are not important to us. Sometimes it’s enough just to remember. And that’s all. ”
I wonder how many people you have lost in your head now? So you broke up for one reason or another, stopped communicating, did not meet, did not call up, did not congratulate each other on holidays, and did not share your success. In a word, you are lost. Deliberately or not – it doesn’t matter now. But you came out of each other’s lives. I wonder if I ask you now to recall these people with whom you are no longer connected, but about whom you still remember how many will be there? Five, eight, three, twenty? How many people do you remember? And how many of them would you like to bring back to your life? Think and think.
Remember how good you were together. How did you love him, for example? How cool you were with him in bed. Or how you always had fun with her, how you laughed about nothing. Or remember how he taught you how to assemble a Rubik’s cube, how he showed how to gently slow down, and how to fit in the turns. Or that cool joint journey with this gang. As you learned new countries, sobbed from overly spicy food and smoked weed at night on the beach.
Do you remember how cool you were with these people? Of course, remember. And you remember all your emotions. And love, and passion, and interest, and tenderness – remember everything. And then you somehow ran away. Now they are no longer in your life. Tell me you don’t want to return them? Surely you want.
And if I say that it is not necessary to do this? Why? Because nothing good will come of it. Well, as if nothing bad will happen either. Your reanimated relationship will drag on like bubble gum. Because you knowingly once parted. You are not lost, you have not been abandoned, you have not left one, your relationship has simply exhausted itself.
No need to reanimate old relationships. Because you have already grown from them
All relationships are based on mutual benefit. Any relationship. Whether working, friendly, or even love. Moreover, mutual benefit should be mutual. One-way traffic does not work here. As soon as one of you ceases to be beneficial to maintain a relationship and hold each other at arm’s length, your communication fades away. And that’s fine. It only says that we are constantly changing. You are not what it was yesterday. Yesterday you were funny at these jokes, you dreamed of learning to bake eclairs and dye your hair pink.
Today you do not eat sweets, you are satisfied with your natural hair color, and you will be happy to spend time alone with yourself then go to a dubious party. It seems that you are still the same – Olya, Katya, Ira. But it only seems that way. Actually, you have changed. Your habits have changed or become completely different. Your interests have changed and the questions to yourself are not the same. You set new goals that you didn’t even think about a month ago. You’re not the same yesterday as today. And this is great. It says one thing – about growth.
Now imagine that the same constant changes occur to all of us. Every person in the morning wakes up not as he was yesterday. He has new thoughts, unexpected intentions and the same new goals. And what if you no longer fit into his new life? As he can not fit into your new life.
Therefore, you should not look for and return people who for some reason have left your life. I know that sometimes you can’t put up with it. For example, you still love him. He still lives in your heart. Every day you think of him from time to time. You remember how wonderful it was to you together. No, you can’t just be from him. Yes, he disappeared, but you will still fight for him. And you are looking for him in social networks: punching a contact in the Telegram by phone number, asking him to be his friend on Facebook, or writing to him in Viber. Like, dear, hello, it’s me, remember how cool it was to us together, let’s communicate again. So, do not do this.
Just accept the fact that your relationship is exhausted. Just probably, he was the first to realize that he had changed, became different, and now he and you are not as interesting as they were before. Mutual benefit disappeared. Do you remember that all relationships are built on this? Even if the benefit disappears, on the one hand, the relationship can not be saved. Because they no longer burn but turn into a smoldering firebrand. They become strained. This is very often they do not want to remember. You do not want to maintain a relationship-chewing? Then let them naturally fade away. Do not reanimate them.
Why it is not necessary to return those people who left?
Here the same algorithm works as with the cabinet. If you want a new dress to appear, get rid of the old one. Imagine that your closet is a living organism. He can not keep everything in himself, he can burst! Therefore, he asks the Universe to intervene and not give you the opportunity to buy another new thing. “Please,” he asks the Universe. – “You see that I am already overweight, do you want me to suffer from obesity?” Help me to keep in shape, do not let easy money in her hands, otherwise, she will buy everything.
Do not promote her in the service, do not transfer to a new position, do not give her bonuses in the end! Let him sit in poverty until he decides to throw away this old, faded dress. You see, it is dear to her as a memory. But the memory is not stored in the closet, damn it! It does not necessarily hold in your hands. Fortunately, our head is a very convenient container for everything that is dear to us. Therefore, material images are not important to us. Sometimes it’s enough just to remember. And that’s it. ”So it’s with people.
Sometimes it’s enough just to remember. And leave the relationship on time. Ideal if this happens at the very peak. Then you will equally miss each other and remember each other with tenderness. But trying to revive the relationship is not worth it. They are not likely to flare up again.
The universe loves balance in everything. She removes people from your life if she sees that you have already outgrown them. She needs to make room for new meetings. Do not hold on to the old. Look for new people. After all, new people in your life are a sign of growth.