How other people build our lives?

5 min


He was once my lover. we felt good together, as good as two different people in the company of each other can be happy. but then I flew to another country, and our relationship matured, gained weight, and gained a new status. so imperceptibly and of our own free will from lovers, we became friends. and we liked to be friends even more than lovers. at least now we always had a choice: when I arrived, we shared the bed, but as soon as he drove me to the airport, we also shared the messenger for two.

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“Love has been living for three years,” the beigbeder once declared. passion at a distance lives a little longer (tested empirically), but it also fades over time. so we quietly ceased to feel towards each other that endless fiery craving that literally incinerated us earlier. we became veterans of past passion and became friends. exclusively friends. everyone knew that. and this is what we felt first of all.

He was my best friend. Only a former lover can be your best friend. because you, in a fit of passion, could as in confession, put everything to him. Was I His Best Friend? I will not argue. but I knew about him, if not all, then a lot. he probably trusted me more than anyone else. probably.


And then he disappeared. disappeared. he is gone. I suffered for several months. but then she finally gave up and dialed him with the hope of hearing a familiar lazy voice. but his phone did not answer. I got worried. left with an investigation in the social network. but he was not there either. he has gone. disappeared. he is gone.

To say that I was discouraged is to just do a figure of speech. I lost my appetite, woke up every morning with the thought “what’s wrong with you ??”, and every night I fell asleep, lulled by our sweet memories. I did not need his gentle kisses and skillful examination of my body, which only he masterfully carried out with his lips. I didn’t need that sweet orgasm for two somewhere on the ocean. then I realized that I didn’t need a lover. I need my best friend. God, how I yearned.

What an idiot I forgave me please forgive

A year has passed. maybe a couple of drops less than a year. I stopped remembering and was immersed in my projects. but one day she nevertheless decided and did it again. “Even if you are somewhere out there, on another planet and in another solar system, you still know that I miss you terribly, friend,” I wrote an unexpected message to him one night. put down the phone and covered herself with a warm blanket with the confidence that I would fall asleep right there. but it was not there.


“I’m here! I’m alive! God, how I missed you! what an idiot I was! forgive me, forgive, forgive me, please forgive! ”- it was he. and he obviously didn’t call me from another planet, because our connection was excellent. as once. as always.

we talked to him all night. he said that he removed all my manifestations, signs of my existence, and all the memories of me. he threw me out of his life and blocked me wherever he could. “But why?” I was genuinely surprised. “I’m an idiot!” – he also sincerely confessed his sin. “I got a woman. and I, the fool, hoped that finally, I would have a relationship.

I just wanted to be happy, understand? I knew that even your most innocent messages sent in the middle of the night would disturb her. therefore, I imperceptibly shaved you off, ”began my ex-lover, who had become my best friend so long ago, that I didn’t even think that someone could be jealous of me. “Friends – they are asexual, how can one be jealous of me?” – I thought so sincerely.

She Is Sleeping

But then it turned out that my friend’s new woman was pathologically jealous. she was jealous of him for everyone and every minute. with her jealousy and predilection, she plagued not only him, but especially herself. how jealously jealous can be, I was surprised to see how my friend, at her request, excluded from her life her good friends with whom he had been friends all his life. I watched but did not make any warnings. until he left her. languished by her obsessive sense of ownership, which was expressed in painful jealousy, he terminated this relationship.

With every active person, we have less and less space in our lives

and then I allowed myself to reflect on this topic. Listen, have you ever thought that other people can get into our lives? fit in without demand and without invitation. and so feel free to feel in it, in our life, conditionally throw away old attachments, cleanse tender feelings, establish our rules and form new desires, assuring us that these are our damn desires! in a word, feeling so free in our life that we no longer have a place in it. okay, of course, I exaggerated this. we will always have a place in our lives, but with each active person, there is less and less of it.


The jealous woman of my former lover, who long ago became my best friend, threw me out of his life. me and a couple of really important people for him. and how many times have I heard stories when a husband or wife, no matter how much, forbade their beloved or beloved from communicating with Dima, Katya, Max, Serge, Eva, and Katazhina.

Why? but the devil knows him. but they nevertheless justified their desire with good intentions, they say, they, Max and Katarzyna, badly affect you. you drink with them, laugh, hang out recklessly, but you could / could develop at that time. and so these obedient beloved or beloved, guided by the desire of authoritative partners, break off relations with people who are sweet to your heart. and then someday at the end of life they, those unfortunate darlings or beloved, might think: after all, max was my best friend … and where is he now?

If it was only a matter of love, one could sort it out somehow. but the roots of this problem are everywhere. parents can insist that you don’t need this guitar, art school, cooking classes or tennis court. Like, you need, baby, to take your head and gain professional weight, choose a profession that will feed you, and for which we all will not be ashamed. throw your guitar and sewing and sewing courses, go to a lawyer – something like this at this moment someone’s life is collapsing. and then this girl or this boy at the end of his life will think: this is interesting, but would an intelligent musician turn out from me? because I didn’t even give myself a chance …


Other people like parasites, they penetrate our life very easily and imperceptibly. The life of others is always a seductive environment. It seems that in the life of another person we are developing brighter. There we are more successful, smarter, wiser. We would not have done such nonsense, mentally staying in the life of another person. We would deal with these toxic people. With toxic, as it seems to us, people and would stop doing these meaningless things. senseless, as it seems to us, deeds.

We easily remove and say goodbye there, in the life of another person. And then it turns out that for that other person, this was the meaning of life. What we competently recommended removing, which we were advised to urgently get rid of in our favor, was the meaning of the life of that other person.

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