Most introverts hate talking on the phone, and there are several reasons for this.
This phenomenon is very difficult for extroverts to understand since the latter can hang on the phone for hours talking on different topics.
Dislike for telephone conversations can cause misunderstandings in pairs and with other people, so you should understand this issue.
About introverts
Who is an introvert?
An introvert is a person who is exhausted from communication and recharges, being alone.
This is a person who prefers a calm environment with a minimal amount of external incentives.
The first thing you need to understand is that each of us has his own style of communication and an innate focus on energy. So, for example, introverts tend to direct their energy inward into their large inner world.
They draw energy by thinking and analyzing emotions and thoughts.
Loneliness is not a burden for them, they learn, thinking, developing their interests and maintaining close relationships with a narrow circle of people. Introverts prefer to communicate mainly through writing, and they are very kind to their space and personal life.
Extroverts, on the contrary, direct energy outward, receiving it when communicating with other people and acting. They like to be the center of attention, they generate ideas, discussing and thinking out loud their thoughts, try to express themselves in one way or another, learn in practice and support a wide circle of friends.
This difference in communication style becomes most striking when we talk on the phone.
If the extrovert calls the introvert, especially several times a day, the introvert tries to evade conversations by all means. If an unfamiliar number is displayed, then this can become even a small problem and a source of stress.
But even if a close friend or family member calls, this also sometimes causes discomfort and negative emotions. Why is this happening?
1. Phone call is an invasion of privacy
Introverts, as a rule, are completely immersed in their affairs or thoughts, and an unexpected call often interrupts a complex thought process and solitude.
They have an innate need for silence and introspection. And it doesn’t matter who is calling, it is still perceived as an invasion of the interior.
There is nothing worse for an introvert than a call from an obsessive seller. All that he thinks about at this moment is how to say goodbye to an uninvited guest faster.
2. Uncertainty causes great concern
Introverts like to think a lot in advance, and an unexpected call provokes their state of nervousness. A blocked or unknown number can provoke a panic.
The question revolves in his head: “Who can it be?”, Causing suspicions and doubts. After all, introverts are used to building close trusting relationships with people before talking to them on the phone.
Moreover, it is important for them to control and understand everything, whatever they do. Coming up on the go, not being able to carefully study the topic of conversation, is clearly not something that introvert enjoys.
3. Empty talk is meaningless
Most phone conversations begin with a discussion of the weather or minor matters that each of us does.
Introverts do not like superficiality, and they do not have time for empty talk. They would enjoy sitting on their favorite sofa with great pleasure and have conversations about the meaning of life and global problems.
4. Phone conversations are tedious
An introvert assimilates information in the following sequence: after hearing it, thinking it over and analyzing it, answering it, and maybe thinking it over again.
This is what happens at this moment in extroverts: they hear, speak, think, speak and speak again.
Trying to absorb a large amount of sensory information without interruption can be very tiring.
And although introverts are great listeners, do not be surprised if during a conversation they will often turn off or be silent, making you wonder if they are listening to you on the other end of the wire. They want to get to the bottom of the conversation, but out of politeness, they don’t tell you that you are too distracted.
5. The interlocutor is not visible
For many introverts, it is very important to read the gestures and facial expressions of the interlocutor. During a telephone conversation, we hear only words and intonation, without seeing the facial expression of a person or other sensory information.
In fact, in a normal telephone conversation, the introvert’s brain is overloaded in an attempt to understand the true meaning of a person’s phrases, which affects the nerves and causes great discomfort.
6. The interlocutor puts the introvert in an awkward position
Introverts prefer to ponder over information, and only then respond, therefore they like to communicate in writing using messages or emails. During a telephone conversation, an introvert has much less ability to carefully think over everything before answering.
The caller often requires an answer immediately, asking questions about important decisions or conflicts at work or at home.
Not that the introvert escaped responsibility, but rather, he needs time to put the problem on the shelves and express his idea clearly. It is for this reason that they like to communicate in writing when they have the opportunity to respond after deliberation.
Test: Do you have a phone phobia?
Although talking on the phone to most people seems commonplace, for someone who suffers from the fear of phone calls, this is a source of great stress.
To check if you suffer from this phobia, answer the following questions.
- Do you feel anxiety before or after the phone call?
- Delay calls due to anxiety?
- Afraid to disturb the other person on the phone?
- Consider whether you will speak to on the phone?
- Worried whether that will be in an awkward position during a call?
- Do you avoid phone calls and make other calls?
- How long do you think about what you said after the call?
- When you are talking on the phone do you experience one of these symptoms:
- shiver
- difficulties with concentration
- nausea
- rapid pulse and heartbeat
If you answer “Yes” to at least one of these questions, then you have a fear of talking on the phone.
How to overcome fear and hatred to make phone calls?
Dislike for telephone conversations does not mean at all that an introvert is ready to completely refuse calls. There are several ways to avoid this problem and get the most out of the conversation.
If you are an extrovert, remember that the introvert does not hate you, does not ignore you and does not have personal accounts with you. It just works differently.
- Send a letter or text message to your introvert friend to arrange an appointment.
- Allocate the introvert some time to think things through, and do not constantly try to rush it with the answer.
- Start the conversation with what the introvert is pleased to talk about, so that he feels at ease, in order to prepare him for a long conversation.
- Know when to stop. Give the introvert time to relax after a conversation.
If you’re an introvert, don’t be too hard on yourself. Find ways for you to make phone calls a burden.
- Use a melodic, listening-friendly ringtone that grows louder gradually, and not immediately, causing a nervous shock.
- Choose a special ringtone for the most important contacts to know who is calling and decide if you are ready to answer the call now.
- If you need to call, think over what you want to say and rehearse various answers.
- Give yourself time to think. It’s okay if you say, “I’ll call you back tomorrow and give you an answer.”
- Do not blame yourself for what you want to be alone. Finish everything and talk when you are ready.
