Why do we suffer when children grow up?


How not to lose the meaning of life, letting children in free swimming? Is it normal to be sad, when the child grew up? Syndrome of “empty nest” in his blog says psychotherapist Sergei kistenev.

The syndrome of “empty nest syndrome” is a feeling of grief and loneliness parents may feel when their children first leave home to live independently or go to College or University. This is not a clinical condition, but leads to depression and loss of PURPOSE for parents, since the departure of their children from the “nest” radically changes their lives.

What kind of parents are susceptible to empty nest syndrome?

  • living in an unstable or unsatisfactory marriage.
  • with low self-esteem.
  • anxious, with the desire to “CONTROL” their children.
  • the so-called – parents “full-time” (mother-Housewives, or fathers) who are unable to realize in his personal life.


  1. loss of purpose
  2. disappointment at the loss of control
  3. emotional distress
  4. family tension
  5. anxiety for the child
  6. Anxiety

5 ways to cope with empty-nest syndrome:

  • To define their role. You’ve had many roles in life – son or daughter, friend, aunt or uncle, cousin. Now that you have more time, you have the opportunity to explore other activities that can help you to find meaning and purpose.
  • Restore your connection with your partner. Remember those years before you had children when you were only two? It’s time to experience a new stage of relations in the pair.
  • “Do what you love.” Have you had any Hobbies that you have lost, because raising a child occupied all the time? “Empty nest” means that you have a place and time to return to them, whether it’s painting, writing music, or cooking.
  • The search for new challenges. This is a great time to explore your interests.
  • “Let them go”. If you compulsively follow the social networking accounts of your child, call every morning and worry all the time about how your child learns in College or at their new location, you will not be able to live YOUR life.

Combating empty-nest syndrome means to “let go” and allow the child to become an independent adult. And not to feel guilty in front of you.

Have you experienced something similar? Please don’t forget to share with your friends and family.

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