What is love: Love is a combination of emotions, actions and beliefs, united by a strong sense of affection, security, warmth and respect for another person.
In addition, the concept of love can be applied to animals, abstract phenomena, or religious beliefs. For example, a person may say that he loves his cat, freedom or God.
The best thing that you can hold in life is each other.
What is love?
Love has always been a popular topic of discussion, which has been raised by philosophers, poets, writers and scientists over the course of countless generations, and many of them have deduced a different formula of love, having their own view on its definition, conditions of occurrence and form of manifestation.
While most scholars agree that love implies a strong sense of affection, there are many disagreements about its exact meaning, expressed in different ways different people treat it.
Characteristics of love:
- Higher priority the welfare and happiness of the object of love compared to your own needs.
- A strong sense of attachment.
- Feelings of attraction and respect.
- The desire to help and care.
- A combination of the above characteristics.
There was a lot of debate whether love is a free choice, or it can enslave despite the presence of will, it’s permanent or fleeting, love between family members and spouses are biologically programmed or imposed by society.
The idea of love may vary depending on the particular person, and also consider culture. The result of each dispute of love is closer to the truth in relation to some time or place.
For example, in some cases, love can be a choice, while in others, uncontrollable feelings.
Love, passion (infatuation), romantic love
Especially in the early stages of a relationship can be difficult to identify the difference between love and passion.
Combined with the overwhelming desire to be close to another person both feelings are based on physical attraction and the intoxicating influence of hormones, but only one of them is characterized by the duration of existence is love.
Love is something that arises between two people and develops over a long period of time, experiencing on the way a lot of life’s UPS and downs. Therefore, love takes time, loyalty, mutual trust and acceptance of man for what it is.
The passion associated with sexual experiences, which in the beginning attracted people to each other and fuelled by the desire to reproduce.
Passion, blurring your consciousness is the effect of hormones and the idealization of the individual as its object, dulls the ability to see the man in his true light, therefore it is not always able to become a direct route to long-term relationships.
The ideal scenario of a strong relationship involves a balanced combination of love and passion.
Love, i.e. passion for another person, combined with a sense of affection to form romantic love, which is an important early stage of a long-term relationship.
The revival of the original spark of passion is a practice that happy couples must adhere to.
Differences between Love and passion
To determine for yourself how love and passion differ, answer yourself to 5 questions.
1. Does your relationship make you better?
Only love can make you feel that you are capable of anything, and for a long period of time.
The motivation of this amazing feeling contributes to the mutual growth of partners. And if you look back and conclude that you have succeeded and become the best version of yourself since your first date, this is a clear sign of love.
Passion carries the opposite, destructive force. It stops your personal development by means of restrictions of your freedom and implicit prohibitions of self-realization.
Passion affects the quality of life of both partners, and love gives freedom, motivates, makes the lovers better.
2. Where is your “I”?
The basis of your relationship is your Ego, or the Central element is the loved one?
You prefer to give or receive it?
You’re counting how much you did for the partner, and how much is it for you?
If you are ready to do everything possible for your girlfriend or boyfriend, without providing for your own benefit: from sending love messages, giving gifts, and ending with the sacrifice of your beliefs and principles, then this is most likely love.
When you are in love, the happiness of another person is more important to you than your own well-being.
Passion is self-centered, but love is completely disinterested.
3. What attracts you to your partner?
Passion for another person acts mainly on the physical level, making you admire the appearance, body, voice, gait, or clothing style of the object of attraction.
Love, first of all, is aimed at the personality of the partner, his inner world, way of thinking, life values and other internal qualities.
Physical attractiveness, of course, is also important, but to a much lesser extent.
Thus, passion is based on external attraction, love on internal personal values.
4. Do you remain in a relationship?
If each of you can answer “Yes,” you are definitely meant for each other.
If you are able to be yourself, telling your loved one about the most personal things, doing what you like and not trying to control your behavior, you can be sure – this is love.
Honesty, complete trust, understanding, intimacy, mutual sympathy and romantic feelings create a stable platform for a long-term union.
When you do not need to wear masks, covering your true face; when you are not afraid that you might be misunderstood, rejected, ridiculed, condemned for who you are; when you are always trying to understand the actions of your partner without condemnation – all these are constituent elements of true love, not passion.
Passion dictates the rules, and love frees one from inner enslavement, it does not condemn, it comes to you for who you are.
5. Are you ready to develop together?
Love cannot stumble or break. She is able to withstand all kinds of life obstacles that arise on a joint path, finding a way out of any prevailing circumstances.
If you feel that you can always be with this person, regardless of whether you receive the same amount of care and warmth as you give, this is love.
Passion is temporary and fleeting, so sooner or later, relationships based on it will end.
Passion ignites and fades, ceasing to exist. Love is steady, deep and constant.
Love is beyond time.
Love and mental health
And although there is no single truth regarding the definition of love, most people agree that love plays a crucial role in both physical and mental well-being.
Benefits of love:
- The lack of love and care, which can test children, almost always, in varying degrees, has a negative impact on their future life.
- Feeling a lack of love has a strong relationship with low self-esteem, inferiority complex and can cause condition depression.
- People living a life filled with love, tend to be happier.
- Love and the feeling of emotional unity can have a direct impact on health, contributing to improved immunity.
Love and physiology
From an evolutionary point of view, love can be seen as a survival tool – a mechanism that we have developed to promote long-term relationships, mutual protection and parental support.
When you realize that someone is attractive to you, love, among other things, begins to manifest itself in the form of a biological process.
Your body reinforces what your mind already knows – this person makes you filled with amazing emotions.
When we feel close to another person, our brain signals the body to make hormones such as serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine and norepinephrine.
These chemicals make us drown in love thoughts and experience the physical sensations that we associate with love.
More on the “hormones of love”:
- Serotonin: This hormone improves your mood. Those who are taking certain illegal drugs, causing thereby a huge increase in the levels of serotonin. Instead, they could just find someone who would love, and benefit more and health would be added.
- Oxytocin: The biological basis for love. This hormone is produced during hugs and love, filling you with a feeling of affection for his lover.
- Vasopressin: Along with oxytocin is responsible for feelings of intimacy towards anyone.
- Dopamine: Responsible for desire and reward, ie. you feel a great pleasure when rewarded with love if it is expressed through kindness, touch, night Dating or happiness.
- Norepinephrine: Produces when you fall in love and feel the excitement stems from a desire to developed and developed well. Such physical sensations are manifested rapid heartbeat or wet hands.
Stages of love (relationship)
1. Falling in love
Falling in love is the most exciting stage of love, and many will agree.
When a man and a woman find each other attractive, a spark of attraction flashes between them, causing them to sink in the ocean of romance and passion.
At this stage, you simply cannot stop thinking about a girl or a guy; they are constantly on your mind. Right now, the meaning of the old adage “love is blind” is most clearly manifested.
This stage of “charm” brings a lot of romantic emotions, laughter, flirtation and playfulness, and all the negative traits of partners are ignored. Much attention is paid to the similarities that you both share.
People at this stage seem to “fly”, being together, and can not wait for the moment when they will be near if they are separated. Butterflies fly in the stomach, and quivering hearts seem to freeze.
At such moments, most people are sure that they have found their soul mate, but physiology is the underlying cause of all these unbridled emotions.
“Hormones of love” make you feel euphoric, evoke a cheerful mood saturated with happiness, and increase your overall energy level. It seems that you are a different person, your sexuality is at its peak, you feel that everything is up to you, you are simply fearless.
Being in this state, you, ignoring the main flaws in your partner, are able to marry before moving on to the next stage of love.
Undoubtedly, the considered romantic feeling seems beautiful as long as it continues, but it cannot last forever, even if you really want it.
Combining with a feeling of intimacy and affection, love transforms into romantic love.
2. Saturation (addiction)
After several months of marriage, when the “chemistry of love” ceases its active phase of exposure, couples return to their familiar “I” with the usual mood and level of attraction.
Everything is normalizing, and instead of focusing on each other, the couple becomes more active in the professional field and in other everyday activities.
Young people, ignorant of this stage of love, might think that feelings have passed. Sometimes they can be upset due to a lack of attention from a lover.
Minor disagreements and even quarrels are a normal component of this stage. It is worth recognizing that a healthy confrontation is natural because it helps both of you to better understand the situation.
When you learn how to solve problems and conflicts that arise, your relationship will become more mature.
At this stage of love, you may wonder why your intimate life has become a bit bland, or why sometimes you see your partner annoyed.
You begin to more objectively evaluate your other half, and the conclusions that come to mind can cause enthusiasm or apathy.
What you need to do is move on. The best is yet to come, even if it seems to you that the relationship has faded.
3. Aversion (quarrels)
You can have many expectations from your loved one. You can even try to bring your partner closer to your ideal image.
This stage of love is reminiscent of a power struggle, and sometimes relationships end if one side dominates the other too much.
Instead of paying attention to the similarities, as you cleverly did during the stage of falling in love, now you are focusing on the differences and shortcomings of your partner.
Some couples break up at this stage. Others, experiencing pain and dissatisfaction with relationships, come to the realization that true love is associated with compromises, and instead of wilting in the conflicts that arise, you can find a way out with the help of understanding, warmth and kindness.
4. Humility (understanding)
Achieving this stage of love means that now you already understand your partner much better.
At this stage, couples are in a joyful state but do not stop making efforts while working on their relationship.
Now both partners accept each other as they really are, but do not rest on their laurels. Avoid misunderstanding and keep getting to know each other better.
Stages of love often add confusion to relationships, but if you know about their existence, moving from one stage to another will not be such a difficult task for you.
To move to the next stage, accept the strengths and weaknesses of each other. You need to focus on the positive aspects, not to focus on negative things, and also to learn about the goals and interests of each of you.
5. The study
As soon as a couple goes through the above stages of love, all unrealistic expectations tend to disappear.
Each side begins to open each other more and more, and there is a clearer understanding of how they can effectively act together in a relationship.
Couples begin to define and clarify their roles in relationships, as well as compatibility with each other.
There is a need to resolve some issues, for example, how much time a guy and a girl like to spend together, and how long to be alone, how each side is used to expressing love and receiving it, etc.
As soon as couples can effectively communicate their needs to each other, they will be able to avoid many unpleasant things, such as aggressive behavior, avoidance, criticism or defensive stance.
Instead, focus on understanding, compassion, forgiveness, and patience.
This is followed by the stage of love when couples are even more immersed in trust, affection and unity with each other.
This is the stage when they experience true intimacy. They support each other even better by giving and receiving love in return.
The ups and downs are an integral part of any relationship. However, the trust and loyalty of both partners will be able to carry them through these troubles without significant obstacles.
At this stage of love, each of you will cease to be obsessed with your own personality and will turn your attention to what is best for relationships.
Now you feel unity, and individuality, and love for each other. At the same time, the spirit of unity still prevails, further strengthening your relationship.
At this point, you feel like a perfect couple. Many lovers may even decide to tie their fate with family ties since they have come this far.
Usually, this stage begins after many years of marriage. You can start thinking about your former lovers and past relationships, or start comparing your current partner with previous ones.
At this stage, a lot depends on the level of satisfaction with the existing relationship. If you feel discontent and vulnerability, you tend to blame your partner for this.
You can even begin to compare your relationships with other couples in your environment.
But you should not add oil to the fire, because you are able to go through this not the most cheerful stage.
At this stage of love, your intimate life plays a key role. Possible changes in love preferences, when one of you becomes less interested in the embodiment of wild fantasies, or, conversely, wants to arrange something incredible.
If there is a significant difference in your preferences, one of the partners may have an affair on the side.
The key to solving the main problem at this stage is to find a creative approach to make your intimate life more diverse and exciting, thereby strengthening your relationship.
This is the highest stage of a relationship when both partners are completely in love and trust each other. However, sometimes full trust can make you take each other for granted, so be careful.
At this stage of love, you know each other very well, know what you can expect from each other, and also clearly imagine the direction of development of relations.
Despite the fact that complete bliss and understanding reigned at this stage, do not stop appreciating and respecting your partner, because love should be constantly cultivated and developed.
Remember that love is like a plant that needs nourishment in order to sustain its life.
34 interesting facts about love
And although people would like to think that they are completely different from the representatives of the animal world, we are not the only creatures whose relations are characterized by monogamy.
It is known that wolves, gibbons, albatrosses and even termites choose their soulmate for life.
2. The time required to assess the attractiveness
The first impression is very important, especially when you consider that it only takes 4 minutes to decide whether you like the person or not.
The influence is exerted not only by how he looks and what he says but also by the language of his body, as well as the tone and speed of his voice.
If two lovers look into each other’s eyes for a long time, their heartbeat will synchronize after about 3 minutes.
Falling in love is similar to the effects of narcotic drugs since similar parts of the brain are involved and similar chemical reactions are triggered.
Therefore, down with the use of prohibited substances, instead, love and be loved.
5. Headache reduction
Oxytocin, the hormone of love produced by the body during hugs, helps reduce headaches and makes sleep better.
The next time if you have a headache, just press your loved one close to you.
6. Levels attractiveness
People often fall in love and start relationships with those who have a similar level of attractiveness.
If in a relationship someone is physically more attractive, then, most likely, he will compensate for the disadvantages due to the presence of other important socio-cultural qualities.
7. Too same
Couples in which people are too similar tend to flee apart.
Researchers have found that similarities help form the foundation of relationships, but if partners have nothing to learn from each other, they are more likely to split up.
So the opposites attract.
8. Time limit
Scientists believe that the peak of falling in love or romantic love falls on the moment, dated one year from the beginning of the relationship.
We remind you that it is love that makes you experience euphoria and butterflies in your stomach.
After love passes, the relationship ends or moves to a higher level, transforming into true love.
Studies show that thinking absorbed in love has a positive effect on creativity, abstract thoughts, and long-term planning.
Reflections on transient intimate relationships affect immediate decision making and attention to the current moment.
10. Face or body?
People who are in search of a short-term affair care more about the attractive body of their partner than about the beauty of his face.
In contrast, those who want to enter into a long-term relationship give priority to the attractiveness of the face compared to the body.
11. Holding hands
The next time you find yourself in a stressful state, try to hold your loved one’s hand because romantic handshakes help reduce stress and physical pain.
Expression of gratitude to lovers leads to an immediate surge in the level of happiness.
13. Butterflies in the stomach
The butterflies in the abdomen that you feel when you fall in love are the result of the body releasing the hormone adrenaline.
14. Eye pupils
When you look at a loved one, even if it is just a photograph, the pupils of your eyes will expand.
It should be added that people with dilated pupils are perceived as more attractive.
Therefore, it is not surprising that being in a relationship, you seem more attractive to the opposite sex.
15. Search love
A long study conducted has led to the conclusion that the happiness and life of most people almost always revolve around love or the search for love.
Therefore, even if you do not find the other half, only one search will lead to a happy life.
16. Lucky number seven
On average, people fall in love seven times before finally deciding to start a family. The seventh attempt, as a rule, becomes the reason for marriage.
17. Male look
For his life, an average man spends a whole year looking at women.
People with higher self-esteem tend to have longer and more successful relationships.
If you are not able to love yourself, why expect this high feeling from other people?
19. Emotions at parting
According to statistics, men are more susceptible to negative emotional effects in connection with the separation, than women.
Therefore, do not assume that a man can take all his feelings under full control.
20. Long life
It is believed that husbands who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer. And this is another five years extra to kiss your loved ones every morning.
Some people are unable to experience love due to a disease called hypopituitarism, due to a decrease or complete cessation of hormone production by the pituitary gland.
The symmetry of the face is the basis of beauty and attractiveness, in any case, the human brain thinks so.
Holders of symmetrical facial features are more likely to make love and can boast of a large number of fans.
23. Pink glasses
The state of love overwhelms the parts of the human brain that are responsible for perceiving social condemnation.
No one wants to think that he can fall in love with a terrible person.
24. Love quest
Romantic situations associated with obstacles in the path of lovers are important factors in love that influence how much you fall in love.
The longer the romantic path and the more intricacies, the brighter and stronger are the feelings of love and longing.
25. The dark side of love
According to statistics, more than 50% of murders of women are committed by their lovers or husbands.
Almost 60% of married men said they were unfaithful to their wives. Married women responded with a figure of 40%.
This information was compiled as a result of the survey, therefore dishonesty on the part of any group cannot be ruled out.
27. The crisis four years
Most marriages around the world experience a crisis in relationships after four years of marriage.
The next important stage to be overcome by the spouses awaits them after the next four years, i.e. on the occasion of the eight-year anniversary.
28. Forever young
Usually, men marry for the first time women who are their same age or younger within 3 years.
When remarried, the age difference is usually approximately 5 years.
When deciding to marry a third time, the man most likely pays attention to women who are 8 or more years younger than him.
The desire to love, like the desire to eat food, is the biological stimulus with which we are born.
So even men are more lovers than warriors.
30. Dangerous lover
You are more likely to fall in love with someone (especially women) if you meet while in a dangerous situation.
31. Beer belly
Women are less attracted to men who choose to reward themselves with a beer belly.
The presence of an overly bulging male abdomen indicates a lower level of testosterone, which means a reduced ability to reproduce.
32. Sense of humor
A sense of humor is most often associated with honesty and intelligence.
That is why most women are attracted to men who can show off humor.
Men’s attractiveness increases if a man is surrounded by other women.
Men with lower timbres in the female eyes seem more worthy of attention.