Types of love: what love is?

Types of love

Types of love: There are many paths in life, but the longest of them is the path to the heart of another person. And if you confront this path and leave it, you will only take the time to try to find it again later.

Love is a mysterious force that fills us with energy, making us experience vivid emotions.

Each of us has developed a different definition of love, in accordance with our own experience and worldview.

Indeed, each person’s experience is so unique that it’s naive to believe that there is a single concept of love that everyone can agree with.

Types of love or what is love

Types of love

The ancient Greeks identified 8 types of love, because understanding what love is, made it possible to realize how deep a person’s connection with other people is in his life.

1. Eros or passion

The first type among all types of love is Eros, which is named after the Greek god of love and fertility. Eros personifies the idea of passion and attraction.

The ancient Greeks considered Eros to be dangerous and intimidating, as he implied a loss of control as a result of the instinct of reproduction.

Eros is a strong and passionate form of love that evokes romantic and sexual feelings. But besides pleasant experiences, Eros is able to lead to impulsive actions and a broken heart.

Eros is the first and brightest fire that burns quickly. He demands that his flame be inflated due to other, deeper forms of love since passion is concentrated only around the egoistic aspects: attraction and physical pleasure, the catalyst of which is the physical body.

2. Philia or strong friendship

The ancient Greeks believed that Philia has a higher value in comparison with Eros because it is love between equals.

Plato believed that physical attraction is not a necessary part of love, therefore, the use of the word platonic means “without physical attraction.”

Philia is a type of love among all types of love that arises among friends who have experienced difficult times together.

As Aristotle put it, Philia is “impartial virtuous love,” free from physical attraction.

Philia is associated with a sense of camaraderie and loyalty between friends, as well as sacrifice in the name of team spirit.

3. Storge or family love

By its significance, Storge resembles the previous kind of love, because it basically does not have a physical attraction, but first of all it implies relationships due to family and family ties.

Storge is a natural form of affection that occurs on the part of parents in relation to their children, as well as on the part of children addressed to their parents.

Storge is sometimes referred to as the kind of love that occurs among adults who are childhood friends.

It should be noted that such love sometimes becomes a serious obstacle to a person’s life when family or close friends do not support his choice.

4. Ludus or playful love (flirt)

The Greeks regarded Ludus as a playful form of love, arising, for example, between young lovers.

Ludus is a feeling that occurs in the early stages of falling in love, which is accompanied by flirting, sinking hearts, playful behavior and a feeling of euphoria.

Playfulness in love is an important ingredient that is often lost in a long-term relationship.

However, playfulness is one of the secrets that allow you to maintain a youthful spontaneity in your love alive, exciting and engaging way.

5. Mania or obsessive love

Mania is an open door to the temple of obsession and is manifested as a result of an imbalance between Eros and Ludus.

For those who experience mania, love becomes a means of saving themselves, reinforcing a sense of self-worth, which is the result of low self-esteem.

Such a person wants to love and be loved in order to feel a holistic and harmonious personality.

Because of this, he can become an obsessive and jealous lover, feeling like he is desperate for his partner.

Mania manifests itself most clearly when the object of love does not reciprocate or its reciprocal feelings are unequal.

6. Pragma or lasting love

Pragma is a love that is time-tested but continues to mature and develop.

She went beyond physical attraction, surpassed spontaneity and over time grew into a unique harmony.

You can find Pragma among couples who have been together for many years, or among friends whose friendship has stood the test for decades.

Unfortunately, Pragma does not arise as if by magic. We spend so much time and effort trying to find love or find friends, but so little time to learn ways to maintain relationships.

Unlike other types of love, Pragma is the result of efforts on both sides.

It is love between people who have learned to compromise, to be patient in order to push relationships towards continuous development.

7. Philately or self-love

The Greeks understood that in order to love others, a person must first love himself.

This kind of self-love is not an unhealthy vanity and presumption that focuses on one’s own ego and narcissism.

Philately is self-love in a healthy form. As Aristotle said: “All friendly feelings for others are the development of a person’s attitude to himself.”

You cannot share what you do not have. If you do not love yourself, you cannot love anyone else.

The only way to truly be happy is to find unconditional love for yourself.

8. Agape or unconditional love

The highest and most perfect kind of love is Agape, in other words, selfless and unconditional love.

Agape is not a sentimental outpouring, which is often perceived in our society as love.

Agape also has nothing to do with the form of love caused by physical attraction, which is often found in modern culture.

Agape is what some call spiritual love. This is unconditional love, more than ourselves, boundless compassion, endless sympathy.

Buddhists have a corresponding concept – “Metta”, i.e. universal loving kindness. This is the purest form of love, free from desires and expectations, existing independently of the merits and demerits of others.

Kinds of love. The three-component theory of love

Kinds of love

According to this theory, developed by American psychologist Robert Sternberg, there are three components of love:

  1. Passion – love and physical attraction.
  2. The proximity – a deep feeling of attachment and unity.
  3. Obligations – its willingness to maintain and develop the relationship.

These three components combined with each other, thereby giving rise to seven different types of love.

No.Types of lovePassionThe proximityObligations
The absence of love
1Sympathy / Friendship+
3Empty love+
4Romantic love++
5Friendly love++
6Fatal love++
7Perfect love+++

1. Sympathy / Friendship

Think about the person you can tell about any positive or negative event that happened in your life, including the most intimate secrets.

Of course, you love him. But this love is affection or friendship and does not claim to be relations.

2. Love (passion)

Passionate love may seem strong and overwhelming, but it, devoid of intimacy and commitment, is not lasting.

Very often, love gains priority in your life, because it is caused by a strong craving sexual desire.

But you should carefully evaluate how close you are to each other, and whether you want to be with this person for a long time.

3. Empty love

This is the love that some of us share with our family and relatives.

In this case, it is difficult for you to imagine the future without another person, but at the same time, there is no physical attraction, as well as the exchange of information regarding the details of personal life.

Unfortunately, many marriages are also sometimes based on empty love.

4. Romantic love

Romantic love makes you feel butterflies in your abdomen when you think about an object of love, but without commitment, this kind of love cannot last forever.

The combination of passion and intimacy creates the illusion of true love, but without conscious and active work on long-term relationships, the feeling that has arisen cannot be transformed into something more.

5. Friendly love

At some point, marriage or a long-term relationship can develop into friendship.

This is not so bad, because intimacy and commitment are the strongest of the three components. Nevertheless, it is important to light a fire and return passion to its proper place.

Elderly people who no longer have a strong physical attraction are often in search of friendly love.

6. Fatal love

Suddenly, a completely new and wonderful person appears in your life path.

The chemistry of the love that has arisen between you, absorbs you as a whole, and you simply can not resist each other.

Everything is going fine, and you are absolutely convinced that it was this person who was always dreamed of.

This conclusion comes to mind based on several superficial information that you possess: where the object of your passion traveled, what kind of music they like, what films and books they prefer, etc.

And with extreme seriousness, you decide for yourself that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.

But the truth is that in the absence of proximity and the exchange of stories from personal life, you cannot judge a person objectively, because, in reality, you don’t know them.

7. Perfect love

Perfect love is born from the union of all three components of love. Most of us aspire to such love.

The ideal situation is when everything is fine in bed, there is intimacy and mutual understanding, and you cannot imagine the future without this person.


We all want perfect love among all types of love, which would give us strength and fill with energy.

And we really can find it, but, according to many psychologists, the main problem is not in achieving love, but in maintaining it.

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