Love at first sight is a phenomenon in which one half of humanity believes, and the other denies the possibility of its existence. This kind of love at first glance seems so fabulous that it is hard to believe that such a feeling could actually arise.
And yet, history remembers many examples when lovers claimed to have fallen in love at first sight.
Perhaps this even happened to you, when you saw an interesting stranger, you suddenly felt an irresistible attraction to him.
Or, if you were not able to take the moment to develop communication, and your mysterious stranger disappeared into the crowd, lost for you forever, you could not get her out of your mind for a very long time, continuing to return to meet her in your memories.
In fact, “falling in love at first sight” is not so unusual. But what exactly is happening? Can you really really love someone if you have never met him before?
In 2017, Dutch psychologists studied the phenomenon of love at first sight by conducting a survey of 400 men and women and made a number of conclusions.
Love at first sight. Research results
1. Love at first sight is a real phenomenon
In any case, the majority of respondents who participated in the experiment say so.
People do report that they felt love at first sight when they first encountered a person.
At the very beginning, they felt a strong attraction, which subsequently developed into a serious relationship.
Opponents of such arguments point out that biased memories are characteristic of man, which subsequently creates the illusion of love at first sight.
2. Love at first sight occurs for attractive people
In the study, participants reported that they usually felt love at first sight for people who had a bright and attractive appearance.
3. Men more likely than women to experience love at first sight
Researchers are not sure why this is happening. Perhaps the reason is that men are usually visuals, while slightly different criteria are important for women when choosing a partner, or they are more selective.
4. Love at first sight is usually not mutual
The experiment showed that love at first sight, most often, is a one-sided phenomenon, and therefore, mutual love of this kind is not very common.
In addition, the strong initial emotions of one of the partners can correct the memories of his second half, changing her belief that she also felt love at first sight.
5. Love at first sight is not true love
Recall that according to the three-component theory of love, perfect love is characterized by a combination of three elements: passion, intimacy and commitment.
Therefore, in reality, a feeling of closeness and a conscious desire to take on obligations for the development of relationships are not strong enough in the first minutes of meeting, because it takes time to manifest these qualities.
At least, these components of love do not have the same features that are observed in couples in the existing relationship.
The level of all components of love in a long happy relationship is much higher than the sensations reported by people who experienced love at first sight.
Nevertheless, the experience of love at first sight is a positive moment, in comparison with the development of relationships when such vivid emotions are not observed.
In general, the possibility of the existence of love at first sight depends on what meaning you put in using this concept.
If you believe that love is based on a deep connection, it is impossible to achieve it in an instant.
But it’s not so difficult to be a fascinated person at first sight. Therefore, considering love at first sight in this perspective, we can recognize it as a very real phenomenon.
Our brain forms the first impression in milliseconds, which can easily become the cause of sexual desire and romantic thrill as a manifestation of a flash of love, even if this surge of emotions does not lead to long-term relationships in the future.
But if you approach objectively, is it love? A moot point. Attraction, love? Yes.
Love at first sight. Subconscious game
Very often, the subconscious forms our beliefs, even when we do not notice it.
Then new beliefs penetrate our conscious thinking, becoming the truth in which we believe.
However, our subconscious mind is not a perfect tool, and sometimes it makes mistakes.
One of these mistakes is that the subconscious can “whisper in the ear” to our Ego, that people with similar facial features have the same personality type.
This mistake can have a direct impact on the emergence of love at first sight.
Let’s get into the details
We clarify the definition of love at first sight in the context under consideration. This refers to falling in love with someone you saw for the first time, perhaps without even talking to that person.
Beauty is a relative concept. Each of us has our own standards of attractiveness, based on internal preferences that have developed as stereotypes of thinking in the process of our life’s journey.
Most likely, you will find more attractive a person who would remind you:
- Former lover.
- A relative you like.
- A friend (friend) with whom you get along well.
And even if for everyone else the attractiveness of this person will be regarded as corresponding to the average level, in your eyes he will look like the undoubted owner of a rare zest.
And the thing is that the subconscious formed a connection between the appearance of a new acquaintance and a person from your past or your environment if that person had a positive impact on your life.
You may remain unaware of the fact that a new acquaintance is like someone from your life, but your subconscious mind will immediately take the identified resemblance to arms.
Love at first sight does not evaluate the looks objectively
It is likely that love at first sight is based on “comparing the new with the well-forgotten old”.
Therefore, the point here is not how attractive the object of your attraction is, but how much it reminds you of a person who was previously part of your life.
The only culprit of the emerging delusion is your subconscious.
And if you had the experience of unhappy love at first sight, keep in mind that it was entirely possible that it was not something incredibly beautiful and unique, but only a slap in the face of your unconscious.
Love at first sight as a result of a passive personal life
If the noun “stagnation” is the most appropriate word to characterize your personal life, it is much easier for you to experience love at first sight.
Your unmet needs, including the sexual plan, can lead to the fact that the first more or less normal person who has arisen on the horizon of your dormant boredom can be elevated by you to the podium of the priest of love.
The subconscious mind will immediately tell you that this person can solve an existing problem at once, bringing your life into an already forgotten balance. And what do you have to do? Love this man.
Not too romantic perspective? But what a beautiful wrapper.
Love at second sight
Not in each case is it appropriate to talk about love at first sight.
The fact is that sometimes people claim love at first sight in relation to a person with whom they are already secretly familiar to themselves.
Perhaps you saw him several times in the bar, which you often visit, or your paths crossed on business matters.
It may well be that you have already talked to him, touched him, watched him walk or smelled his toilet water.
But these seemingly insignificant events at that time were extracted from your memory as unnecessary.
Signs of love at first sight
1. You feel awkward and confused
If you feel at ease, and also realize the presence of “butterflies in your stomach,” this may well be a manifestation of love at first sight.
From a physiological point of view, strong emotions often affect the digestive system.
2. You want to know everything about this person
Have you ever met a person you would like to know everything about? If so, now it’s clear to you what this is talking about.
3. You never notice anyone else
At such moments, you cannot take your eyes off this person, and it seems that no one else exists in the universe except him.
4. This person seems familiar to you
When you feel love at first sight, it may seem to you that you have already met this person before, as much as you are comfortable and easy with him.
5. You like her (his) manners
You are very impressed with how a person talks, smiles, what kind of gait he has. All this seems incredibly attractive to you.
Subjects of love syndrome at first sight
1. Hopeless romantic
If you are a hopeless romantic, then you are one step away from love at first sight.
2. All or nothing
You do not know the measures when it comes to your feelings for someone. You either feel nothing for another person, or the emotions that have arisen enslave you without a trace.
Moreover, you are not able to establish a romantic relationship with more than one person at a time.
3. You don’t have the type of the woman (men)
Anyone who is subject to the syndrome of love at first sight, in fact, does not adhere to his type, so everyone can ignite his interest at any time.
This means that you are an open personality, which is undoubtedly great. But it also means that you are always at risk of love at first sight.
4. You tend to go in cycles
Obsessive thinking is an important characteristic of people suffering from love syndrome at a glance.
Since you are often able to go into deep reasoning about various events, you have a tendency to be obsessed with thinking about a new person in your life who takes your thoughts for a long time.
5. You are constantly thinking about the future
Such people, although they are in the present, their mind is constantly rushing into the future. This means that you often fantasize about a shared future, which enhances your feelings for the object of attraction.
6. You fall in love not with a person, but with his image
This happens with many people, but in your case, such situations arise constantly.
Since your romantic emotions flare up to a stranger quite suddenly, you can become a victim of the ideal image you invented, which is infinitely far from a real person.
You tend to sing praises to a person who does not deserve such an attitude at all. In other words, sometimes you can ignore reality, and this is dangerous.
7. There is no cynicism in you
Your heart is always open for love. The most important thing for you is that you have strong feelings for another person, and this, you are sure, is already an incredible gift of fate.