Nothing can stop you from approaching a happy future so much as an unhealed wound of a past relationship.
No matter how the circumstances of who was right and who was wrong.
The problem is that the resulting pain prevents you from moving forward, so is it important for you to get the answer to the question of how to stop loving the person.
The reason you find it difficult to stop loving the person, even though consciously you realize that there is no other way, due to the state of your subconscious mind, which is not fully reconciled with the events.
The adoption situation can only occur when the subconscious mind conclusively deemed irreversible events.
Most people who have the desire to stop loving, don’t allow yourself to accept the fact that a former lover is no longer in their lives.
How people usually do
1. Visualization of past pleasant memories
Visualization is one of the most popular forms of programming the mind.
The more you visualize the person you love, the longer you will be tied to it.
2. Save things that remind about this person
When you store things that remind you of an ex-girlfriend (boyfriend), for example, gifts, photos, text messages, emails, etc., you are actually signaling not about your desire to stop loving someone, but about the need to restore relations.
Your mind is just embarked on the path of recovery as you begin to take action that tells your mind that while you should click on pause.
3. You comfort yourself with hope
You can stop loving someone, only if you eliminate all hope that all will be as before.
As long as you comfort yourself with hope, the process of your recovery will continue for a very long time.
4. The desire to meet again
Such a mental attitude programs your mind to make you more attached to the person you parted with.
5. Following a person in order to obtain information about him
When you follow the life of someone, for example through social networks, you are indirectly forcing your mind to believe that this person is important to you, and as a result, you become more attached to him.
6. Talking about ex’s with friends and family
When you talk with a lot of people about the person you loved, you push your mind to love your former partner even more without noticing it.
Until your social life, and especially communication with the opposite sex, is improved, you will continue to depend heavily on the person who has been with you for a long time.
How to stop loving someone
1. Repetition and subconsciousness
As already mentioned, the main problem that arises when a girl (guy) throws you is that your subconscious mind does not actually accept the events that have occurred.
Repetition is one of the best ways to convince your subconscious mind of what it initially does not believe.
The more often you repeat the statement about the end of the relationship, the faster this thought will develop into a strong conviction.
Therefore, if you really want to stop loving a person, urgently get the following thoughts out of your head:
- I can’t live without this person.
- I can’t stop loving it.
- This man was the one and only.
2. Understand that there are no irreplaceable people
One of the barriers that can prevent you from stopping loving a person is the belief that this person was the one and only.
Even if until now you have not found anyone better, this does not mean that a better person does not exist, and you will not be able to meet him later.
The objective fact is that your ex-girlfriend (boyfriend) is not the best person in the world, otherwise, all people of the opposite sex would love them.
As soon as you make sure that your internal attitudes about the “only person” are completely false, you can get rid of psychological dependence much faster.
3. Realize that you cannot make someone love you
Having learned that a loved one does not love you, your immediate reaction lies in the desire to make him fall in love again.
This thought is completely natural, but at the same time absolutely useless.
You must understand that you can only control your emotions and actions.
Moreover, even your own feelings are sometimes not under your control.
So how do you find it possible to convince another person to feel what he does not want?
4. Don’t be obsessed with your feelings
Do not make this person the center of his life.
Very often people start to think that their life will end with the ending of a relationship, but it’s not. Yes, this is absolutely not true!
And if now your thinking takes the opposite direction, after a while you will laugh at such thoughts.
And if you continue to invest in the already finished relationship, take steps to do something nice for her former lover even if it hurts you, or when you feel that if you cease to do so, the former partner will leave you forever, you still will not achieve anything.
The only thing you will achieve, even higher levels of possession of your emotions.
Focus your attention on yourself because you are the only person who can accept and love you as you are.
5. Get rid of reminders
If you are wondering how to stop loving the person, in this case, a very important step for you will be getting rid of all things that remind you of past relationships (they are the anchors, triggers).
Don’t waste another second and immediately get rid of all presented to you by former lovers things, sharing photos, delete the entire history of your conversation in the chat rooms.
Otherwise, you will create barriers to your healing.
In addition, it is not necessary to visit places where you spend free time together.
If it is difficult for you to be at home, because even “the walls remind you of her (of him)”, make a furniture change or arrange an apartment repair.
6. Don’t try to stay as friends
“Let’s stay friends” is the same as “You certainly are a so-so little man … But who knows, maybe somehow I can use you for my own purposes.”
To stop loving a person, you will have to take all your will into a fist and distance yourself from her (him).
Do not answer the calls and messages of your ex, add their phone numbers to the blacklist, block their account on social networks and all kinds of instant messengers.
If a person calls from someone else’s phone number, you should not develop communication.
Immediately say that you’re busy right now and call back yourself, after which hang up the phone sharply and, of course, do not call back, do not answer calls.
If you are united by joint children or work, try to reduce all your communication only to these topics, and in no case go beyond the established framework.
In this way, speed up your “recovery” and raise your self-esteem.
7. Remember the shortcomings of your “ex”
Make a list of all of the disadvantages of the ex-girlfriend (boyfriend).
Remember how they were dull, stupid and inattentive.
Remind yourself about the physical disadvantages of your past choices.
You should not just focus on the negative aspects of the personality, but be absolutely ruthless against them.
Write down the negative examples of behavior which will be able to remember.
Once you start, you may be surprised at how many incidents will pop up in your mind.
When you’re in love you tend to idealize the person, now you should do exactly the opposite.
If you think it’s impossible to stop thinking about this person, you still are able to escape from their unpleasant thoughts, why you should reconnect with other people.
You need to avoid being at home alone, mourning your sorrows, who took an intergalactic scale.
The more time you spend alone, the more you will feel that you miss about the former.
To overcome depressive feelings it is important for you to maintain positive social connections.
Call your friends or relatives and arrange a meeting.
Talk with those who you trust, and tell him about your problems and feelings.
9. Rethink yourself
What happened to you is actually one of the best opportunities to rethink yourself and your values.
When you were fascinated by another person, you may neglect yourself.
Now is the best time to get acquainted with you closer.
So make a list of your qualities that comes to mind.
As a result, you can set their weak points on which to work, as well as strengths that should be developed further.
Change dress style, experiment with your hair, find new Hobbies, start your own business.
10. Treat parting as a good experience
Although it is difficult to find a positive grain in the events that caused your broken heart until your feelings have calmed down, you better make a conclusion that the relationship between a man and a woman are of two types: successful and training.
Your positive attitude will allow you to use the experience for self-development and prevent mistakes that were made previously.
Remind yourself that you are becoming stronger and more confident, and better able to understand their feelings and desires.
11. Drop the guilt
Feeling guilty for a broken relationship is a completely senseless and unnecessary emotion.
You are able to control the love in you by another person.
And even if you believe that you were guilty of something, at the time of making bad decisions you’re still doing your best given the available knowledge and experience.
In addition, you should not try to bring the blame on the ex-girlfriend (guy), in any case, if you want to stop loving this person.
Any strong emotion, no matter what charge it carries in itself: positive or negative, will act as a reminder of the past, intensifying mental pain, if you do not clear your mind of it.
12. Change the routine
Doing something unusual, for example, visit exotic places or even to change work, is one of the best ways to get rid of existing habits and replace them with new ones and also to dilute the usual routine of impressions, which will help to enjoy life and focus your attention with the seemingly endless problems for the future.
If it is a difficult task to make a daily routine of simple changes, for example, go for a walk on Saturday evening with friends or visit the unexplored part of your city.
Another way to diversify your life is to find a new hobby, including cooking, swimming, parachuting or anything else that is unusual for you.
Focus on things that are enjoyable that will be for you an element of the healing process at this stage of your life.
13. The emergence of interest in life
One sign of your willingness to move on is the emergence of interest in what surrounds you and to other people.
At the stage of the presence of mental pain, you go deep into yourself, but now you are close to being prepared to stop loving a person.
The list of objects on which to focus your attention starts to replenish interests, unrelated to the past relationship.
14. Understand that this is the end
Hope loves to play with people a malicious joke.
Your mind will not start the process of psychological recovery after parting until you make sure that there is not a single chance of a return to the relationship.
If you want as quickly as possible to forget the person, you have to destroy all expectations.
Most importantly, there should not be expectations that this person will call you or congratulate on a holiday, as well as the need to eradicate the hope that one day you accidentally meet.
The most difficult step is realizing that this person no longer loves you. It is difficult to understand how someone who once made you so happy, I decided to leave out of your life.
The phenomena in this world are constantly changing, and you should accept the fact that your person’s feelings have changed.
Just remind yourself that it’s over.
15. Reduce Relationship Dependence
Many people enter into relationships in order to systematically receive a guaranteed charge of positive emotions because they want to forget about life’s problems.
If you were able to become less dependent on relationships, you will much easier be able to bridge the gap with your loved one.
Learn to solve life’s problems, not hide from them under the cover of relations.
It will also give you the strength and courage to survive any catastrophe in your life.
It is impossible to completely eliminate psychological dependence on other people but engaging in your life of a variety of interests and Hobbies, you will be able to significantly reduce the importance of someone who you think must be there.
Believe me, your life will be much more fulfilling and interesting.
16. Love yourself
You’re an amazing, unique, wonderful person, and it is from this point of view you should travel in life.
Love yourself, the world around you, freedom and independence.
Your life is not over for the sole reason that one person has ceased to have feelings for you.
No matter what you like, but the day will come when you will be able to love again.
You deserve the best life, full of love, but you will understand it only after will start to move on.
Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox.