Many of us inextricably confuse egoism and self-love, its natural value. When you value yourself, then you show respect for your life, body, personality, character traits, abilities.
When I value myself, I take care that my relationships with other people are not destructive, my body was healthy, my mind was fed, the feelings helped me to orient myself in the world and relationships with other people. For many, the phrase “I value myself” refers more to selfishness. If I value myself, then I put myself ahead of everyone. I’m in charge, but no one else. Whereas in real egoism is more manifested in my demand from others to live the way I want them to live. Or demand changes from them so that I can interact with them comfortably and comfortably. Recognize your value!
This has nothing to do with the sense of its value. We are used to the fact that loving oneself is very bad and the one who does this very bad man and is only worthy of blame. It is important to love others, take care of them, and put yourself in the last place and remember somewhere near the end of life, having saturated the soul with various regrets.
People who find it difficult to recognize their worth and give themselves love are struggling with one dilemma: either I love myself or I love others. In other words, my love energy must entirely belong to me or to me, or completely different.
If love belongs only to me, then I’m bad, if to others – then I’m good. And a similar vision plunges into a great sadness, for there is only white and black and there are absolutely no shades. For example, I can love you and be angry with you and my anger is not an indicator that I have stopped loving you. I do not have to choose between just being angry with you or just loving.
I love myself and it is important for me to take care of my body, soul, life. Sometimes I can be angry with myself and I do not choose between just being angry at myself or just loving. I admit that I tend to change because we do not live in a vacuum and the world has a tangible influence on us.
When we allow and, moreover, practice the opportunity to show love to ourselves and to other people, more variants are born within us, first, for the manifestation of love, and secondly for the choice of the form of relations, and thirdly, our good feelings can change and temporarily become negative, which is absolutely natural.
Anger to a loved one and to a loved one is not an indicator that I no longer love him, but the indicator of my and his liveliness, fluidity. This is a sign that it helps us to grow, nourishes us and this is about love and care; and that which absolutely does not suit us and destroys us and it’s about anger or irritation.
It is very difficult and indeed almost impossible to always be on the rise, experience exclusively joy and happiness. And if I forbid myself to feel weakness, sadness, anger, anger, then I start pretending to be what I should be, no matter who thinks.
I should be joyful, all to love, to help everyone and appreciate everyone and most importantly not to feel negative feelings towards anyone. And I need to spend a lot of energy to hide my pretense and make my joy more real.
In this case, you can deceive other people, but that’s very difficult and even if you can not notice, the body will give you pretense through reduced mood, stress, accidents, psychosomatics.
We too often endure our focus of love and care for another person, as if to say to ourselves “if I do not allow myself to take care of myself – then let me at least give it to another and then I will not be so sad, then I will feel more valuable … through another “. As if by another person we are trying to sew our own wounds and it is he who must show love and care for us. And then he, too, will not be selfish in our eyes. And then we will feel good and valuable, because they care about us, love, appreciate, recognize.
Recognition of one’s value, self-love, and care, that we have the full right to act as we act means that we stop being victims of circumstances and wait for someone to take care of or love us. We ourselves become the source, take responsibility into our own hands and are the only reason to treat ourselves with care.
It is hard enough for us to believe that we are good enough and deserve better and we do not need to be the worst, suffer and pay with our suffering, pain or patience of violence possible happiness in the future. Even if another tells us and will repeat every day how much we are loved and good for him, it will be difficult to believe in this truth, if once we decided to forbid ourselves to love.
We all act from the decisions made and no one takes our right to realize and revise our own decisions, to give up some old ones and to accept new ones. At any moment in your life, you have the right to do it for yourself.
Other people do not have healing for us. The other can show you what it means not to be a victim, relying on your own example, but to study or not learn from them is your choice. It’s true. Sad and perhaps cruel truth, destroying the hope that the same or the same one will come and I will become one of the happiest people in the world. You are the same person. There is nothing more to wait.
Allow yourself to be. Let it be imperfect. Allow yourself to care, based on the right to choose what nourishes, develops, which is consistent with your desires, goals, dreams, with your feelings and values.
Allow yourself to care, based on the right to give up everything that destroys you, violates your values, depreciates feelings.
Allow yourself to make mistakes. Allow yourself to feel negative feelings. They will not destroy you if you allow them to be as a natural part of you, but they will cause great damage to the soul if you suppress them.
Allow yourself to resist what you are resisting here and now. Allow yourself to encourage yourself for achievements. And not for achievements, too, as support, with the thought that “I have me and we will succeed!”.
And allow yourself the pleasure of living when the hands on the clock leave in your life not cold numbers, but warm impressions and experiences.