A confident person delights, inspires, and inspires confidence in others. He is able to face his fears and is not afraid to take risks.
He knows that regardless of the scale of the obstacles that arise in his path, there will certainly be an opportunity to overcome them.
Confident people tend to see life in a favorable light, even when things go very badly. At such moments, they continue to remain positively charged and have respect for themselves.
On the other hand, people with low self-esteem and lacking confidence perceive the world as a hostile place, and themselves as a victim.
As a result, being in the role of passive observers, they are reluctant to show their abilities and do not open up for the better, as a result of which they miss the opportunities that are opening up and drive themselves into a state of their own powerlessness to change the situation.
All this further reduces their self-esteem and self-confidence, dragging them into a bewitched downward spiral.
What are self-esteem and self-confidence
Confidence and self-esteem are not the same things, although they are closely related.
Self-confidence is a concept that is used to characterize your attitude to your ability to perform various functions, tasks and roles.
Confident behavior is not about making mistakes, as they are inevitable, especially if you are doing something new.
Confidence is manifested in self-control and the implementation of deliberate meaningful actions, when various kinds of errors arise, allowing you to solve problems and make decisions.
Lack of confidence may be the result of many factors:
- Fear of the unknown.
- Criticism.
- Dissatisfaction with one’s appearance.
- The lack of preparedness for the situation.
- The lack of the necessary skills.
- Previous failures.
Self-confidence, as well as self-esteem, is not a static concept, and therefore its level can both increase and decrease. At some points in life, we can feel more confident than at others.
The level of confidence can manifest itself in different ways: through your behavior, your body language, what and how you say, etc.
Self-esteem is your attitude to yourself, to your personality, to how you look, what you think about, as well as to your own beliefs and achievements. This is the final result of the quality of your life at a particular moment in time that your body gives out in the form of appropriate emotion.
People with low self-esteem most often suffer from a lack of confidence, however, some owners of self-esteem, which is at a sufficient level, may not similarly shine with confident behavior.
The reverse situation is quite likely when a person with low self-esteem can be very confident in some areas.
Possible reasons for low self-esteem:
- Dismissive attitude and negative mood of the environment.
- Childhood experiences and lack of concern for parents.
- Bad habits.
- The loss of a job or difficulty finding employment.
- Constant stress.
- Physical illness.
- Difficulties in relationships, separation, divorce.
- Physical or sexual violence.
- Mental problems, inferiority complex.
Signs of certainty and uncertainty
Signs of high self-esteem and self-confidence:
- Confident man doing what he thinks is right even if others criticize him for it.
- Ready to take the risk and commit an extra effort to achieve the best results.
- Able to admit their mistakes, streamlining.
- Not trying to spread everyone about their achievements, so not trying to cause praise.
- The less inclination to be jealous and to control the other person.
- The absence of fear to be vulnerable.
- The ability to set personal boundaries.
- The ability to get rid of extra, unnecessary situations, people, work.
- Responsibility for their actions and emotions.
Signs of low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence:
- The behavior of an insecure person depends on the opinions of other people.
- He used to stay in your comfort zone, fearing failure and avoiding risk.
- Always trying to hide their mistakes and hopes to be able to solve the problem before anyone finds out about them.
- Reports about their virtues and merits as often as possible and to the greatest possible number of people.
- The lack of self-love.
- The awareness of being unwanted or not good enough.
- The inability to make decisions.
- He doesn’t like anybody.
- Taking on someone else’s fault.
- The inability to recognize their strengths.
- He considers himself undeserving of happiness.
Why is it important to increase self-esteem and self-confidence
Possessing sufficient self-confidence and healthy self-esteem, you will feel great having a perfect understanding of your ability to do what you want to improve the quality of your own life.
You will make decisions more easily, guided by your own inner choices. You will be able to try everything that you previously avoided, and stop letting fear control your destiny.
More success
Self-confidence and high self-esteem are one of the most important keys to success in a career and business.
You will be less likely to get stuck in a dead-end job because you will be clearly aware of your value in finding the best deal elsewhere.
As for business, only sufficient self-esteem and self-confidence will allow you to move forward when others refuse to fight or twist their fingers at the temple.
Stronger relationship
It is very difficult to have harmonious relationships when you constantly feel your inferiority. Ultimately, you will tend to rely too heavily on your partner, whom you find more confident.
As soon as you become confident in yourself and increase your self-esteem, you can be a direct participant in the process of developing relationships without vegetating as an extra, and also fully reveal your personality by investing in relationships and getting mostly positive emotions in return.
Life becomes easier
When you love and respect yourself, as well as treat yourself with understanding, everything becomes much easier.
You stop making an elephant out of a fly. Any problem for you is just another task that needs to be solved or a situation that is not worth your attention.
You stop scolding yourself for your mistakes, as well as trying to meet any standards.
Improving Mental Health
A negative attitude towards yourself and your capabilities poisons your thinking, as a result of which you become prone to anxiety and a tendency to depressive states.
Look at yourself as a beautiful person will give you a positive charge, and will be a source of the flexible and resilient psyche.
More internal stability
When you strongly and sincerely love yourself, when you have a high opinion of yourself, there is no need to seek attention and external confirmation of your value from other people.
As a result, you cease to be in need, and your inner vision of yourself becomes independent of what people around you can think or say about you.
Exclusion of internal sabotage
The worst enemy of most people is themselves.
Confidence and high self-esteem will allow you to treat yourself as more worthy of good things, achievements and surroundings.
You will strive to get everything indicated with much more motivation. And having become their owner, you will not create obstacles for yourself that can destroy what you have.
More happiness
It is hard to be happy when self-esteem and self-confidence are at zero. In this case, you will feel sad, incapable of anything and in a hopeless situation, unworthy of love and respect, and also not worthy of a wonderful life.
Once you become confident in yourself and can increase your self-esteem, you will make the necessary changes to find a way out of the maze of past failures by opening the door to the room of happiness.
Other benefits:
- The ability to act more effectively under stress.
- Development of the ability to influence and persuade other people.
- The development of leadership qualities and Executive skills.
- Positive thinking.
- Increase inefficiency.
- Increasing the attractiveness.
- Reducing the flow of negative thoughts.
- More courage and less anxiety.
- The increase in energy and motivation.
How to become confident. The basics
In 1952, an article entitled “Self-Confidence for Competency” by Bernis Milburn Moore was published in the journal Educational Leadership.
Moore describes confidence as a belief in oneself that helps to overcome events that arise in life.
He believes that you become more confident in yourself if you begin to do what you do better.
Self-confidence without competence is as futile as competence without self-confidence.
Bernice Milburn Moore
This idea can be represented in the form of a system:
- Improving skills.
- Putting them into practice.
- Evaluation of the results.
- The growth of self-confidence.
- Repetition.
What skills should be developed in yourself? It all depends on the goals that you are pursuing at the moment.
However, there are some universal skills that every person should improve:
- Discipline.
Stop listening to the whiner settled in your head. Don’t listen when he says: “Then you will make up the bed”, “Sleep for another hour”, “Go to the gym next week”.
- Communication.
Effective communication is an art, which depends on your ability to interact with the environment. So if you think that you are a professional in this field, never thinking about how to build communication with people you are deeply mistaken.
- Negotiation.
You are all the time negotiating. With his wife, children, parents, teachers, friends, colleagues, and many others. So learn to work out the best deal for all parties.
- The solution to the problems.
The modern system of education, based on the receipt of assessments and the concepts of “good” and “bad” turns the youth in the cogs, necessary social mechanism. In the end, most people are so accustomed to run errands the other that they themselves are not prepared for solving problems in difficult situations. However, the world is changing and wins the one who better copes with overcoming very different problems.
- Health and appearance.
Good health and attractive appearance is the ideal way to invest your time and attention. Being in good physical shape and having an attractive appearance, you will definitely be able to increase self-esteem and become more confident.
How to become confident and increase self-esteem
1. Know yourself
Know your enemy and know yourself, and you can spend a thousand battles without defeat.
Sun Tzu
Before the battle begins, the wise commander tries to get to know his enemy as best as possible. And when you try to increase your self-esteem and become confident in yourself, your worst enemy arises in your way – you yourself.
To get to know yourself better, listen to your thoughts and analyze why they have negative connotations.
Then think about the strengths of your personality, about your abilities, about what you like.
Make two lists, one of which will include your strengths, and the second – your disadvantages.
Think about the factors that limit you. Determine whether they are truly objective, or is it just the result of the game of your mind.
Remind yourself that, despite the problems you have, you are a unique, special and valuable person and deserve the best.
After all, you are a miracle of consciousness, the consciousness of the universe. Identify and challenge any negative thoughts about yourself, such as “I am a loser” or “Nobody loves me.”
No matter how you feel about yourself now. What matters is what you want to become. Therefore, look as deep as possible inside yourself, and you will become more confident.
2. Positive thinking
Every person’s mind likes to whisper: “It’s too complicated. Stop and go watch TV. ”
Instead of indulging in such thoughts, treat them as erroneous phenomena, carefully revealing each of them.
When you catch such a thought, destroy it, replacing it with a positive conviction with the opposite meaning: “Go on, you can. Just a bit left. ”
3. Positive actions
You are what you do. Therefore, if you change your actions, you can change yourself.
Act in a positive way, talk with people in a positive manner, use your energy, and soon you will notice the difference.
4. Focus on your strengths
If you continue to focus on your weaknesses, sooner or later you will lose most of your self-confidence.
Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, focus on the strengths of your personality.
Maybe you could be a terrific speaker, a great cook, or a great businessman.
Take a look at the various areas of your life, and perhaps you will see in yourself a person with great value.
5. Body language
Confident people differ in a different manner of non-verbal communication.
They walk straightening their backs, keep their heads straight, look into the eyes of others and do not suffer from the presence of unnecessary movements.
Therefore, to increase self-esteem and become confident in yourself, take on the arsenal of the body language of confident people.
6. Slow speech
It is a fact. Confident people have a leisurely speech.
A person who thinks they will not want to listen to him will speak quickly because he considers himself and his speech unworthy of expectation.
Try to speak more slowly than usual, as a result of which you will feel more confident.
In the process of applying this recommendation, do not rush to extremes.
7. Speak loudly
The loudness of your voice is directly related to your confidence.
Shy people tend to speak quietly or mumble because they do not want to attract attention.
Confident people are not afraid to be in the spotlight and try to convey information to all listeners with maximum efficiency, therefore they speak quite loudly, clearly and clearly.
8. Smile
Commonplace? But it does work.
You will feel a surge of confidence when you start smiling at other people. A great investment of your time and energy.
9. Get in the front row
When you attend major events, are you in a hurry to take a place in the front row, or rather proceed to the last places?
Many people are used to hiding behind the backs of others, so as not to risk being invited to the stage or appearing in the role of answering a question.
But think about who usually sits in the front row at all official meetings of any company? Who takes first place at fashion shows? Of course, the most important people.
Once in the front row, you take yourself to the same level with important people. You give others a signal that you are one of the most important guests, and you can demand an appropriate attitude. You will also notice that you will start behaving like a VIP invitee.
You put yourself in the center of attention, going beyond the comfort zone, so you have no choice but to become confident in yourself.
10. Improve your skills
This has already been said earlier, but it is worth adding that you should start with small steps.
If you, for example, want to become a professional writer, don’t try to deal with all the intricacies of the profession at a time. Just start writing, and then write even more.
11. Set a small goal and achieve it
People want to reach the stars by the end of the month, and when they fail, extreme surprise arises on their faces.
Set an achievable goal, and then achieve it, with the result that you will get satisfaction. Then set and realize the following goal.
Soon you will prepare yourself to conquer higher peaks.
12. Change some minor habit
To get started, aim not at such a large-scale one as quitting smoking, but something less significant. For example, wake up 10 minutes earlier or drink a glass of water when you wake up.
Repeat fastening within a month. When a new habit becomes an integral part of your life, you will become more confident in yourself, and your self-esteem will increase.
13. Focus on solving the problem
If you are used to complaining about life, plunging into negative emotions and focusing on problems, just shift your focus.
Focus not on the problem, but on its solution. And this is one of the best ways to become confident and increase self-esteem.
“I’m fat and lazy.” How do you solve this? “The fact is, I can’t motivate myself.” And how do you solve this? “But I have no energy.” So what is the solution?
14. Do something you’ve been putting off
What is hidden in your to-do list, deciding to hide there forever? Complete this task tomorrow and rid yourself of memories of it.
You will feel light and satisfied with the result.
15. Be active and try new things
Doing something is almost always better than doing nothing.
Of course, this is something that can cause errors, but they’re just part of your life.
The only way you can learn over time and become the best version of yourself so don’t worry.
Just do something. Step out of the usual boring private life and click on its toggle activity, taking steps to achieve any goal.
16. Focus on the parts of the whole scale
Attempt to implement a major project or difficult task can seem overwhelming and daunting for even the most confident.
Instead, learn to break down complex tasks into their component parts and implement each of them in turn, one after the other.
Achievement of intermediate goals will allow you to get a charge of positive emotions, and bring you closer to the realization of all that was planned.
Learn how to work all the time, and soon you will become the benchmark of confidence.
17. Avoid perfectionism
If you strive for perfection, you risk being disappointed. You can always become better, but to be perfect is impossible.
Stop striving to do everything perfectly. Accept the fact that nothing has to be perfect to be considered beautiful. Therefore, you don’t have to be perfect.
Show greater tolerance for their own mistakes and shortcomings, because they didn’t distract from your talents and strengths of your personality.
18. Use criticism as a learning tool
Everyone looks at the world, having their own point of view. What works for one person may not work for another.
Criticism is just the opinion of someone else, which you can use as feedback.
Treat criticism constructively, not reacting to her in a protective way and not allowing it to influence your self-esteem.
Calmly accept criticism and make sure it is the consistency, use as a way of learning and improving.
19. Make your residence clean, comfortable and attractive
Even if you just wash Windows or watering plants, you will feel much better.
In addition, clean up your desktop. It may seem insignificant, but such a simple action can work wonders.
If the desktop starts to sink in confusion, and the world plunges into chaos, bringing order to your Desk will be a wonderful way to bring the situation under control.
As a result, you feel the calm in the eye of the storm raging around you.
20. Take care of your appearance
Personal hygiene, fashionable haircut, neat and stylish clothes have always been and always will remain allies of high self-esteem and self-confidence.
21. Good sleep and a healthy diet
Make sure you sleep enough time to get enough sleep and try to eat foods that promote your well-being.
22. Exercise
In a healthy body, high self-esteem and self-confidence. Exercise regularly, despite the possible “I don’t want” or bad weather.
Physical activity helps to increase mood, internal energy, performance, reduce depression and maintain your body weight at an optimal level.
23. Gaining knowledge
By improving your awareness, you become not only intellectually developed but also more confident in yourself.
If you have a higher education, there is no need to put an end to the baggage of your knowledge.
Currently, thanks to the Internet, you can find a lot of literature for every taste. Therefore, develop not only the body but also the mind.
24. Be prepared in the best way
If an important event is planned in your life, take the time to carefully prepare for it. As soon as you do everything you can for your maximum readiness, trust the result.
For example, if an important business meeting is nearing, or if you are applying for a new job, think about possible questions that you may be asked and that you would like to voice. Only after the preparatory phase go to a meeting or interview.
Plan and manage life situations as much as possible. You will feel confident knowing that you have completed the preparatory steps.
25. Do what you like
Indulge yourself with something that you love so much or so passionately want to do.
Have a cup of coffee, give yourself a gift, jump with a parachute or sign up for courses that interest you.
Also, remember to celebrate your achievements, whatever they may be.
26. Develop a positive environment
It is very important to build a network of family, friends, colleagues and other confident people who support you and your efforts.
This does not mean that they will never give constructive feedback, but even so, their behavior will be based on a sincere wish for your success.
Tell your friends or relatives about their experiences, and ask them for advice and support. Perhaps they have similar problems.
Don’t be too shy or reticent: most people close to you do wish you well-being and want to help.
27. Meet with other people
When you are at some event surrounded by large numbers of people, don’t be dependent on the presence of your friends. Go and talk to strangers.
It is no secret that extremely confident people have the ability to make acquaintances.
28. Get rid of the bad people, places and habits
Why do you spend your time, energy and emotions on people who will not appreciate it and will not offer anything in return, except as an unpleasant aftertaste, which has become the result of joint communication?
And the point is not that there is nothing to take from them. They simply cannot understand you, because they have a completely different level of development, usually lower, to which they will try to lower you.
The same goes for places you can visit, as well as your habits. If they do not contribute to your development, dispose of them as unnecessary trash.
Stop struggling with what you don’t like in your life. Just eliminate everything unnecessary.
29. Stop comparing yourself with other people
If you compare your appearance and personal qualities with others, the inevitable result will be a loss of self-confidence and a decrease in self-esteem.
Every day you come across people around you, their photos on social networks and the various statuses of their hectic life.
You may think that they are doing much better than yours and that they are simply better than you.
One way to increase self-esteem and become confident in yourself is to stop comparing and spend less time on social networks.
30. Stop trying to impress others
Stop playing different roles and adjust to the expectations of those around you.
If you can bring sincerity to your life, you will be surprised how positively others will respond to you.
31. Learn to say “No”
Don’t express consent just because you do not want conflict or misunderstanding. You may well politely decline requests without even coming up with excuses.
Constantly saying “Yes”, you will feel useful and in demand, but, ultimately, you will burn yourself to the ground.
To keep your energy at the optimal level, be sure to refrain from wasting time and energy.
If you already have plans, then you have the right to refuse everyone else. You will not only save yourself from many problems but also be able to earn respect.
32. Be grateful for who you are
Many people complain about themselves, declaring their desire to have the missing qualities or skills while doing nothing to change for the better.
Instead, take the time to be thankful for who you are.
In fact, you have many wonderful qualities, and it’s much more effective to focus on improving them.
33. Goodwill
It may seem commonplace, but goodwill has a strong influence on your self-confidence.
If you are always selfish, angry and displeased, you will find that your self-esteem does not increase, but falls.
It is important for you to be kind to others because this is how you give yourself a charge of positive energy.
Generosity, kindness and compassion are the lots of strong people.
34. Rate your achievements
Confidence is dependent on internal awareness of the level of one’s own success.
But if you are not seeing success in your life, your self-confidence is likely to be low. So how can you believe that you are successful?
No matter where you are now, you have achieved much more than you are used to counting.
You tend to look to the future and constantly compare yourself with the best version that you want to become.
You look into the future, where your ideal “I” has a lot of money, a happy family and a beautiful home. Then you evaluate today’s self and feel depressed.
But you rarely look back and forget to compare your current self with who you were a few years ago.
You very often forget what a long way has already been traveled, how much is already behind, and what has already been achieved at the moment.
35. Don’t think that you can’t become self-confident
There are already many things in your life that you do with natural certainty. You just need to notice them and understand how to be sure.
Remember what it feels like to brush your teeth, walk in the park, or talk with a close friend. You do it all confidently and completely naturally.
Transfer the feeling of confidence hidden in you to those areas where, as you think, it is not enough.
