Opinions about the friendship between the representatives of the two opposite sexes, expressed by serious researchers and people of creative professions, are the most opposite. There are those who believe that such friendship is simply “sex postponed for later”. Consequently, only it underlies any relationship (including production) between a man and a woman. Others, on the contrary, are inclined to assert that only relations based on friendship are the most durable and faithful. Because if such a relationship is extracted and permanently removed the sexual component, they have all the chances to keep the purity of thoughts.
The friendship between a man and a woman: “for” and “against”.
Why does this friendship arise?
There are, of course, many other opinions. There are those who prefer the option that, sooner or later, the relationship between the representatives of the strong and beautiful sex will lead to the need to treat friendship as a prelude, followed by the main, intimate part. Cynics and other representatives of the society, having a critical view of all their surroundings, are sure: a man who has not managed to achieve a woman’s reciprocity offers “to remain friends.” But it has only one goal – the hope that over time such relationships will grow into sexual relations. Similarly, it is possible to cite the arguments of more experienced specialists in this field of psychology: the man initially proposes to be “just a friend”, hoping, thus, to place the woman to herself, with all the ensuing sexual perspectives.
To list all possible variations of such, at first sight, unpretentious friendship can be as long as you like. On whatever of the above principles the friendship between a man and a woman was built, it should be viewed from the point of view of relations. And relationships, like many other things in life, require daily care and attention. After all, a friend is, in fact, the most ordinary person, who has not only advantages but also drawbacks. To be able to accept a friend as he really is and not try to remodel him into his own selfish “comb” – the key to the success of any friendship. Only when a person values, respects and feels the attention, understanding and care of another person, the friendship will be strong and long.
The main types of friendship.
Based on the specifics of friendly relations, we can consider them, with reference to the following three basic patterns:
- the friendship of two people united by one profession (colleagues);
- relationships that have become strong, from living in one yard, from kindergarten, school, university and so on (childhood friends);
- finally, a bond that was formed spontaneously, at some particular moment in life (disco, theatre, stadium, common friends, common interests and many others).
In each such case, the emergence and continuation of friendship have its positive and negative nuances. Because not all friendly relations are built on the foundation of honesty and sincerity. Let us first turn to the negative aspects that often lie at the base of quite normal, seemingly, relations.
- There are friends that a person needs to become a “vest” for other people’s tears. They take pleasure in the fact that an outsider trusts them with their most secret secrets (and often this is the case). They are lonely by nature and need not in a concrete person, but in the consciousness that he has someone, over whom he has power.
- There are also friends who are friends with someone, as long as it is convenient for them. The most common pairs are either a despot admired by his friend who is ready to do everything for the sake of friendship, or simply a pragmatic person who skillfully maintains a relationship to extract, from time to time, any benefit to himself.
- Quite a lot in the modern life of friends with whom famous people from the world of art, politics or business lead relations. To such friends, it is necessary to show off simply at meetings or conversations with familiar people: a pier, and I drive friendship with this person!
But there are also sincere relations, and, as between people, old enough, and friendship between a guy and a girl, which is also not uncommon. Most often they arise from a community of interests and have a fairly powerful resource for survival.
And this friendship can be not only in the ordinary reality but, for example, in social networks. Young people, for whom, with the entry into a serious life, numerous professional opportunities open, they can easily communicate among themselves, without seeing any sexual implication in it. The same happens with more adult people, who are united by a common profession or common interests in music, painting or literature. There is a huge space for a fruitful exchange of useful information. And such relations can be considered positive.
The friendship between a guy and a girl is the opinion of psychologists.
Interestingly, over the years, men, according to sociological surveys conducted, are more inclined to the possibility of normal friendship between representatives of the opposite sexes. But women, growing up, on the contrary, increasingly firmly believe that any such friendship will invariably lead to adultery. In part, the ground for such confidence gives more than a rich practice of such relations. In literature, cinema, television programs, the theme of friendship rises very often, and it is full of cases when a guy falls in love with his girlfriend (or vice versa), sexual relations arise between friends of newlyweds and so on. In addition, there are many and simple cases when friendship is still going on, but one of its participants is drawn to other relationships.
Everything necessary to maintain a clean, sincere friendship, both participants have such relationships. This is the everyday care of your “little garden”, which you must be able to cultivate. And for this – use the soul and heart, without them do not achieve friendship!
It is no accident that the same social surveys revealed one very interesting feature of the formation of opinions “for” and “against.” Among the respondents who answered the question of the existence of such friendship is positive, more people based on personal experience. And, on the contrary, opponents of the existence of friendship, came to this opinion “on the basis of other ideas.” Supporters of the same existence of such friendship in 9 cases out of 10 have their personal experience in mind. And this – the numbers, which can not be trusted.
The best friendship.
Yes, the friendship between people of the different sex is possible! And it’s just wonderful that it happens. After all, thus, the idea that people do not live by sex is justified. That all of us can be united by a common religion, a common idea to make our planet better and other common interests. As practice shows, such disinterested, honest and pure relations are most valued in our world. A true friend, a friend without any self-interest in the soul, is always ready to help, and it does not matter whether he is at the other end of the world and whether he has the means to get to a friend. This is a very touching friendship, it is strong and reliable. And the samples of such friendship, praised in the immortal creations of art, make us all a bit better!