Breakup? ” It seems that between us no longer have the same feelings” — every girl at least once in your life uttered the words. Sometimes you think, it’s all over and there was not a drop. But how to understand, what is really going on?
Myth: “He started annoying me”
Not a single person on earth, who would not be annoyed from the permanent presence of the other. You live with him or see each other almost every day — Yes, if he is a friend, you would have climbed the wall from some things like squishing a tea or scattered around the apartment socks.
Very often the cause of your anger — not the man himself, but something more deep and personal. For example, you can not piss off the mess, and “Hello” from parents, which are too aggressive were punished for disobedience when you didn’t want to clean the room. The same applies to other living habits, which are so good. If you’re able to perform and understand, the solution is at hand: much easier to invite a maid, than to sort things out on home soil.
Myth: “We’re like brother and sister”
Psychologists believe, that friendship, and that is the Foundation for long-term romance. It’s all in the feeling of gratitude and unity, experienced couple, who can be companions to each other. It helps when the main passions subside.
Remember, what exactly your boyfriend”brother” was near then when you most needed it. Together you coped with the task, acting as a good professional team. From these thoughts it becomes warm, and you can feel affection for his such close and familiar to man.
Myth: “In our relationship, there is no emotional intensity”
And that’s fine. Because of the number of hormones and neurotransmitters in the blood of lovers in the acute stage rolls. This means, that you are unable to work, sleep, eat, chat with friends, to live… So nature provides a slight decline after a period of living together with future cyclical UPS: someone a year later, and other steam — every 3-4 years. By the way, a new emotional outburst provoked significant events in your life.
The passion will come back if you fill your life with new impressions. Say, this helps the extreme(after all, the adrenaline rush many take for sexual arousal), romantic (because feelings need a special atmosphere), new experiences (then you just change the setting). Here only there is a real danger — to turn a good relationship into a continuous drama, to squeeze from them an ounce of emotion.
Myth: “I already started to glance at the other”
Man, unlike the Swan, an animal polygamous. But monogamy, as found by anthropologists, is a social phenomenon, internally, provided in order, to protect their territory and with great success to bring food. There is nothing strange in the fact, that your fantasies are projecting to other young people. Your boyfriend, unfortunately, is also a concern.
To change or not — a purely personal matter. But unlike other polygamous animals, our sexual appetite is uncontrollable, and a good temperament in a logical manner. By the way, in nature, there are so-called “psychological monogamous”. Very few of them, however, they would not want anyone, except a chosen partner. It is believed, that if two people come together, their happiness will know no bounds.
Myth: “Sex is not the same”
We are “hooked” on sexual partners, as a drug — it’s all in the hormone oxytocin, which is responsible for feelings of tenderness and trust to each other. Another thing, what you may find, that your current partner is not so compatible with you in bed, like half-forgotten University Lovelace. And it makes you think, that your sex life has deteriorated.
Compromise is the basis of any relationship, from work to love. If he wants less, than you, or do you prefer the rudeness of his signature “vanilla” affection, you can always negotiate. Even today, all will be well, as he wants, and tomorrow — according to your wishes. By the way, sexologists proved once again, that true sexuality is revealed only then, when you and your partner have spent more than one month together. So, it is possible, that all of you still ahead.
Love has gone: objective indicators
All too emotionally. Playing “hot-cold”, the constant scandals, disappearances, reconciliation and recognition more like addicted to love, than true love.
You feel him psychological discomfort. This can be expressed in the feeling of inferiority next to him, the complexes, the fears of loss, the fear of abandonment. As a rule, in such an attitude of people leads to mutual attraction and their own complexes. Which, alas, in the true sense rarely outgrow.
Without it, you feel better. Maybe, between the two of you had something valuable and important, strong and deep, but it, alas, has exhausted itself. In this scenario, the gap will be able to make you happy and free.