Self-development: where to start

16 min


Self-development

Self-development is an independent process of self-improvement, due to the goal, which is realized mainly through the acquisition of new and development of existing skills, as well as through overcoming bad habits.

Thus, self-development (self-improvement) is the path that leads you to a happy and healthy life.

Self-help helps you develop your personality in such a way that even the people around you become happier.

If you still decide to change your “I” for the better, you should be prepared for various debilitating physical and emotional stresses.

Where to start self-development

Where to start self-development

In order to begin to live the life of your dreams, the life that you are proud and enjoying, you need to become the best version of yourself, the personality that you should be.

The starting point of self-development is the decision made and the choice made.

Then you need to follow the steps below, which will contribute to self-improvement.

As you move forward, your priorities and ways of personal development may change.

For example, at first, you decide to learn one type of activity, but as you deepen and gain professionalism, it is quite possible that understanding will come that you actually have a passion for something else.

When you embark on the path of self-development, you will notice that people who are dissatisfied with themselves will oppose you, dissuade from your plans or try to confuse. Do not let them do this.

1. Decide what you want to achieve in life

What do you want from life? Perhaps this is one of the most important questions that everyone should ask themselves.

All people want something, but only a few have conscious goals and make meaningful plans.

However, the reality is that if you yourself do not decide for yourself what you want to achieve in life, someone else will do it for you.

Near you, there are people who always try to impose their own vision on this issue.

But only you can decide in which direction to move, and whether it is worth implementing the advice of others.

All the people around you will be referred to these people, however, your parents will have the greatest influence, firstly, your parents, whose advice is most often based on their own experience.

Secondly, your friends, many of whom don’t know what they want at all, and very often can only lead you astray.

In general, of course, you need to listen to the words of your environment. But don’t forget that only you are the person who has the right to lead your life, and therefore no one should be allowed to redraw your fate according to someone else’s scenario. It is your choice and your life.

If you really don’t want to enter the university for the specialty offered by your parents, having completely justified reasons and a sincere unwillingness to engage in this type of activity, then you should not do this.

If you know what your inclinations are for, and you can imagine at least in general terms how you will manage to realize them, then be sure to move in a direction close to your heart.

If you can imagine it, you can do it.

Walt Disney

It is very important to understand that “We are becoming what we are thinking about,” and this expression is so true that it’s even hard to imagine.

This is the fundamental secret of the universe, which can be described in other words: “To get something, you must first give.”

The basis, in this case, is the focus of your attention. If you focus on negative thoughts, you will get negative results. By focusing on positive thinking, you will achieve positive results, at least sooner or later.

So come up very responsibly and find out for yourself what you want to achieve in life, what you want to do, what you want to become?

2. Identify your problems and deficiencies that can be fixed

Identify the negative or missing moments in your life that you would like to correct.

For example, you can conclude for yourself that you go to bed late every day, smoke, drink, earn little money, are overweight, do not dress well, etc.

After facing the truth, make a list of your problems and shortcomings. This list can include anything you want, but try to take into account only really relevant problems, and not just those that other people mentioned.

To start self-development, you should understand what, in fact, you should develop in yourself.

For each item on your list, sketch out a small plan and a reason for correcting it.

For example, if you want to lose weight, the reason will be the desire to improve your appearance, overall well-being, relationships with members of the opposite sex, as well as the desire to increase self-esteem.

As a way, you can mark the need to sign up for a gym or pool, exercise at home or street jogging.

Your mind is able to rationalize anything. Having explained to him the true state of affairs and the validity of the tasks that arose, he will become your faithful servant on the path of personal development.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Is there something that I would like to change?

    I have my apartment, my job I don’t like the relationship with my girlfriend is on the verge of separation, I experience stress or anxiety, etc.

  2. Is there anything that I would like to have?

    I have no girls and close friends, I have not traveled, no career advancement, I earn little, I feel unhappy, etc.

  3. Is there anything, what do I have to give up?

    I too often drink, eat junk food, are bad for my parents spending too much time on social networks, I’m too short-tempered, etc.

  4. If I do what I like?

    Start to plan your life, learn to prioritize, get active, get yourself a hobby, read books, find a better job, etc.

  5. If I want to change?

    Change a bad mood, low self-esteem, dependence on others, my own laziness, anxiety, the negativity, your fears, etc.

  6. I never realized?

    I am not successful enough, smart, I am overweight, I am a loser, etc.

Answers to these questions will allow you to formulate your goals that need to be realized.

3. Create a self-development plan

At this stage, you begin to detail how to move towards your goal.

Creating a self-development plan may seem like a daunting task, but there is nothing beyond it.

The most important thing is behind because you have already realized your life guidelines. Once you understand what you want, let your mind determine the ways in which you can realize your goals.

If you clearly imagine a self-development ship leaving the harbor with a crew on board and choosing the course of its sailing, in 99 percent of the 100 cases it will be able to reach its destination.

Along the way, your conqueror of the ocean of life’s problems may encounter unforeseen obstacles, such as the depletion of fuel supplies and the need to replenish them.

Perhaps he will have to anchor for a while and provide crew members with a good rest.

Despite all this, the ship’s captain will not forget about the route laid and, as a result, the destination will be reached.

To make an action plan, look at information about possible ways to achieve your goal. And the first thing you can do is find the information you need using search engines on the Internet.

If you want to start a business in your chosen niche, draw up a plan of physical training at home or develop a sense of style, conduct an appropriate study in the area you are interested in.

Include in the plan the actions that you must take every day, every week or every month in order to realize your plan.

4. Start moving towards your goal

You have already defined your goal, and now you know how to realize it, so start every day to perform those actions that bring you closer to it.

On the path of your self-development, you will find that you want to change other qualities in yourself, and this is wonderful.

For example, as the skill to dress stylishly improves, you may notice that your hairstyle also requires change.

The process of self-development is likely to be a difficult undertaking, however, almost any innovation in your life at first leads to some confusion and confrontation with the usual foundations of your life.

And still remember that while you are focused on your dream, everything else does not matter.

5. Stay on the move

Motivation is like taking a shower: you can’t get a charge of inexhaustible energy until the end of your days in one session.

A pure body loses this quality if systematic procedures are not repeated. The same can be said about motivation, which must be periodically replenished.

If at some point you decide to press a pause in your self-development due to your own laziness, it will be quite difficult for you to return to the previously beaten track, which the snowstorm of your indifference will notice.

9 tips for self-improvement

tips for self-improvement

1. Get started now

To achieve high results, a sufficiently long time of self-improvement will be required, so you should not postpone anything, but you should start right away.

If you take the first step, stopping you will be difficult.

2. Start small

Break large-scale goals into intermediate ones.

When you understand that to build a building for personal development, you don’t need to immediately erect walls, but rather lay one brick at a time, systematically repeating this simple procedure, the fears about the impracticability of the plan will be dispelled.

At the same time, focusing on the next intermediate goal, don’t lose sight of the final result.

3. Learn from others

Your own experience is a stern teacher, so don’t forget to learn from the mistakes of other people, learning from their success.

If you can find a mentor for self-development, your task will be simplified.

It is worth considering that teachers can be mental, so read more books, and also study more media materials on topics of interest to you.

4. Accept responsibility

Only you, and no one else, are responsible for your progress, for who you are now and at what stage of your life path.

Therefore, your holy duty is to perform the actions provided for by the self-development plan drawn up.

Nobody will do anything for you, and the result is exclusively in your hands.

5. Rate the results

Focus on what you have already achieved.

As a result of personal development, you unwind the flywheel of your own capabilities, and each subsequent intermediate goal is achieved faster and faster.

6. Sincere intentions

Everything that you passionately want to achieve, sooner or later becomes a part of your reality.

Identify your passion before you decide to do something, and make sure you really want this.

If the goal does not fit your desires, you will come up with endless excuses and initiate many obstacles to prevent your progress.

7. Set realistic goals

By setting unrealistic goals, you will set yourself up for failure. By setting a low bar, you deny yourself the pleasure of achievements, as a result of which only minor changes occur.

Your goals should be high and at the same time achievable, in connection with which, determine the middle ground for yourself.

8. Follow your passion

It’s just awful when you have to engage in hateful activities, so do what suits your interests and values.

Choose the people you want to be with yourself. Follow the call of your heart without escaping difficulties.

Become a master of the art of living when others cannot understand whether you live and work or play because you will constantly be able to do both.

9. Never give up

Life is cyclical, provoking ups, followed by falls.

When you are sincerely sure that you are doing your favorite thing, but it seems that all efforts are in vain, continue to move forward no matter what because rapid progress is not eternal.

Define a comfortable rhythm for yourself and follow along with the flow of events.

Self-development has no end. You can learn, change and improve all your life.

The benefits of self-development

The benefits of self-development

1. Developing your strengths

Self-development not only helps you gain new skills but also contributes to the development of existing qualities.

By focusing on improving your strengths, you can do something not just good, but bring your level of ability to the “Excellent” score.

2. The growth of self-confidence

Making a decision to develop yourself in one area or another will immediately have a positive impact on your self-confidence.

As soon as you reach your next goal, acquire another skill or improve the quality of your life, you will feel a surge of strength and energy.

The more you keep improving, the more confident you become.

3. Awareness raising

Self-development is closely related to the level of awareness, which allows you to objectively look at the areas of your life that need improvement.

With awareness, you can understand who you really are, what your true values are, and what kind of life you would like to live.

4. Exit the comfort zone

Self-development to one degree or another makes you leave your usual comfort zone, pushing you out of your usual way of life, where everything is familiar, calm and boring.

As a rule, development is associated with a certain level of pain. But the only way you can feel your progress and improve your own skills.

5. Lifelong Improvement

Having chosen the path of self-development, you will no longer be the same and you will not be able to stop in self-improvement.

For you, this means your ability to change for the better so much that at the very beginning you will not even assume that this is possible because the result you obtained will become the starting point for the implementation of new plans.

6. New features

Self-development will open up new opportunities for you. All that is required of you is to have the willingness to recognize and realize them.

7. Improving the quality of life

Self-development, in general, contributes to the growth of your standard of living.

You don’t just become better as a person, gaining new skills. As a result of your inner changes, everything begins to change.

You gain better health and well-being, begin to do what you love, improve your relationships with others, and life itself ceases to seem like alternating scenes of work and boring life and takes on the image of the game.

After going through a series of obstacles and trials, you become happier, and once the problems that seem to you at a new level of thinking can only cause a smile on your face.

Self-development plan

The plan of self-development

Have you ever gone on a trip during your vacation without prior planning? Probably unlikely.

It is very difficult to enjoy the trip if you constantly need to think about where to spend the night, what to eat and where to move on.

It is much easier to travel when you have an idea of the destination, as well as a plan of future actions.

So it is with traveling through your life. Very few people devote time to planning it, so it is not surprising that in the end, they ask themselves the question: “How did I get here?”

That is why it is so important to prepare a plan in advance. However, it is easier for most people to ignore the current state of affairs than to try to make the necessary changes.

There are other benefits to having a self-development plan. If you ever feel lost in life, you can just look into your plan and remind yourself where you are going.

A personal self-development plan is your life guide, with which you gain control over your destiny and can make better decisions.

A self-development plan will help you expand your knowledge, develop new skills or improve important areas of your life.

So what elements does the self-development plan include?

1. Define your goals

The first step is to identify goals that are truly important to you.

They may be related to a career, personal life, health or the desire to acquire a new skill (for example, learn a foreign language).

What is important to you? What new skills do you want to learn? What achievements will make you happy? Do you have unfulfilled dreams? Would you like to get a better job?

Write down 5 to 10 goals that matter to you.

2. Prioritize

Of all the goals you recorded, which one do you consider the most important? It will become the main strategic task, on which you should focus your attention.

Perhaps you want to engage in career development, gain better physical fitness or acquire new skills.

Think of skills that, in addition to their immediate benefits, have a positive effect on other areas of life.

For example, if you learn to speak beautifully, the result can be increased self-confidence, improved communication skills and relationships with other people, and even business success (for example, successful business negotiations or achieving large sales volumes).

Therefore, take a look at your list and select one goal that is most important to you, and which you will begin to implement in the first place.

3. Set a deadline for achieving the goal

If you set a goal for yourself but didn’t determine the deadline for achieving it, it will remain just letters on a white sheet.

In addition, if you plan to implement a large-scale project in a short period of time, most likely you will not succeed.

When planning, you must be realistic, concrete, and use a reasonable time-frame approach.

Instead of deciding to become a dollar millionaire in a year, it is better to set a goal to double your income for the same period.

When you have determined the real time frame, it is very important that you take your ideas seriously. If for you a self-development plan is just a scrap of paper, that’s how it will be.

Instead of focusing on the problems and obstacles that may arise, imagine the genuine state of euphoria in which you find yourself when you reach your goal.

In addition, you can provide a reward for the result.

4. Identify your strengths

Each person has the usual average skills, at the same time possessing more powerful qualities, which are based on propensities for a particular type of activity.

What are your advantages over other people? If you are unsure of the answer, ask your friends and family about it. You may even be surprised to find out about yourself.

Your strengths make you unique and special, so it is very important for you to be aware of these personality traits.

Perhaps you are collected, patient, persistent, sociable, smart, brave, grasp everything on the fly, have a tendency to get involved in music, sports, programming, etc.

Understanding clearly what your strengths are, write down those that will help you achieve your goal.

5. Identify your weaknesses

Your current behavior and existing habits can both contribute to and impede the achievement of your goal.

If your goal is to live up to 100 years, then you need to quit smoking, stop eating junk food and stop taking everything too close to your heart.

Write down at least 5 bad habits to get rid of.

6. Identify new skills

If you want to have something that you never had, start doing what you never did.

Richard David Bach

In other words, in order to achieve something that you have never achieved before, you need to develop skills that you never had.

Start work on these skills as soon as possible. To do this, determine what skills and knowledge will help you achieve your goal, and make a list of them.

7. Act

If you want to realize a large-scale goal, you have a lot of work to do.

Write down at least 3 to 5 of the most important cases that you need to complete within a certain time frame.

8. Get support

Who can help you realize your goals in accelerated mode?

If you want to lose weight, you can contact a fitness trainer. If you want to organize a business, find a way out for people who have experience in the niche you are interested in, but who will not be your competitors (for example, entrepreneurs from another region). Want to become a master of words – sign up for public speaking courses.

Make a list of people who can help you achieve your goals.

9. Progress

The best motivator for continuous forward movement is your own progress. Even if it is insignificant, you will receive a portion of pleasure and a boost of energy.

It is important to evaluate your achievements, as well as draw conclusions that can be improved. If something goes wrong, then you should change the strategy used.

Write down all the conclusions based on the results of the assessment of the results, which will determine the need for appropriate corrections.

Your task is to make all available resources work for you.

Useful skills for self-improvement

Self-help skills

1. Learning foreign languages

In the modern world, in conditions of mass globalization, knowledge of a foreign language can become an invaluable personal asset.

And although you should not expect that you can speak another language fluently in a couple of months, even knowing its basics can be a very useful skill in certain situations.

2. Meditation

Meditation is the practice of contemplation by focusing on one object, which came from ancient times and originated in the vastness of India.

Meditation is not like anything else in this world and is a unique, simple and at the same time difficult skill for some people.

It is not meditation itself that is interesting, but its result, which manifests itself in calming the mind, raising awareness, developing a better understanding of oneself and everything that happens, getting rid of bad habits.

3. Time management

Time management is a technology for organizing time and increasing the efficiency of its use.

It is easy to waste time if you don’t have a clear plan on how you are going to complete the tasks.

Using methods of time management, you can improve your punctuality and professionalism, devoting more time resources to those matters that are really important to you.

4. Clear speech

The skill of competent and clear speech, when the words are correctly formulated and endowed with the necessary level of energy, is an underestimated quality, which is still able to prove itself in all its glory during a presentation, public speech, participation in a meeting or interview.

5. The ability to dress with taste

This skill will help you create the best first impression when meeting people, such as potential objects for a love relationship, employers, or clients.

6. Healthy eating

As they say, you are what you eat. Therefore, eating healthy food will certainly improve your overall well-being, which is so necessary on the path to self-development.

You don’t need to go on an exhausting diet. Just make the necessary changes to your diet by improving the quality of the food you eat and eliminating junk food.

7. Sports exercises

Energy is the key to productivity, which is smelted from the metal of regular training.

Start by setting attainable goals that are best for you: regular walking in the fresh air, evening jogging, going to the pool or gym, exercise at home.

8. Martial arts

Improving the skills of owning your body in combination with the ability to repulse hostile people will not only develop your physical abilities but also provide increased self-confidence and peace of mind.

9. Playing a musical instrument

Mastering the ability to play a musical instrument will help you relax after a tiring day, and also be in the spotlight, being in the company of people, if, of course, this is not double bass.

10. Search for your passion

To be stuck under the pressure of unbearable monotonous life is not the best conditions for personal development.

To leave behind the dull vegetation of life, find what really turns you on, and never let it go of your hands.

11. Optimism

A positive view of the surrounding reality is a powerful source of internal energy for both yourself and the people around you.

By steadily developing positive thinking, you become more productive, restrained and confident.

After all, pleasant events more often happen to optimistic people.

12. Listening skills

The ability to listen to people is the basis of successful communication. However, many of us are used to interrupting when others speak.

Listening carefully can significantly increase the effectiveness of your communication and provide you with a better answer when it is your turn to speak.

13. Reading books

A book is a source of wisdom. The more books you read, the more knowledge you absorb.

14. A new hobby

Find something new and at the same time interesting for you, for example, a new sport or leisure: fencing, rock climbing, ice skating, dancing, web design, Italian cooking.

15. Attendance at courses

Courses are a great way to gain new knowledge and skills.

This doesn’t have to be long-term training and seminars also solve similar problems.

Courses can help you come up with new ideas that have not previously surfaced in your mind.

16. Overcoming your fears

Each person in a cozy apartment of his mind has his own room of fear. This may be fear of one’s insecurity, fear of public speaking, fear of taking risks, etc.

All existing fears keep us in the current position, as obstacles to self-development.

Recognize that inner fear is a spotlight that illuminates areas of your life in which you can develop.

17. Early Awakening

Get out of bed early in the morning, i.e. around 6 a.m., many motivational trainers recommend, such as Anthony Robbins, Robin Sharma and others.

This is necessary, as they consider, to increase their working capacity and quality of life.

18. Ignore toxic people

Each person, as a rule, is greatly influenced by those 5 people with whom he spends the most time.

But wherever you go, there will inevitably be part of the negative-minded people, both in relation to themselves and to others.

Don’t waste your precious time on such characters if you feel the negative energy that comes from them. Appreciate and love yourself.

19. Learn to deal with “difficult” people

There are times when it is not possible to avoid unpleasant people in communication, for example, on duty.

Learn to cope with these “difficult” objects, since such skills in managing people will be a very useful tool for you throughout your life.

20. Learn to let go of the past

Is there any grudge or unpleasant memory from the past that does not want to leave you? If so, it’s time to let him go on all four sides.

The deadlock that your brain holds this negative and at the same time bright emotion prevents you from moving forward and becoming the best version of yourself.

Forgive yourself, forget about past events and continue your journey.

21. Rest

Have you worked too much lately? In this case, you should take a break, you are not a robot with a perpetual motion machine.

Spend your free time every week. Relax, be distracted, as a result of which you will get a boost of energy to move on.

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