Love alone is not enough, or How to stay together, if you are too different


Love: They say that opposites attract. But very often, fine words do not correspond to what really happens in life. Small differences lead to major quarrels, and large mismatches do put the relationship under question.

What if you are crazy about the sea and dream of once living in a house on the beach, and your boyfriend prefers mountains? And when you are super-hungry you hurry to order sushi, and he says that raw fish with rice is fu.

Let’s understand together.

First, you need to decide for yourself whether these differences, which exist in pairs that are critical for you personally. If you dream of a big family, and he’s not planning on children now or in the distant (and near) future, once it is clear that you are not on the way. But if he loves the sporty style and wants to see you in leggings, and you prefer the classics, and I wear shirts and pencil skirts — it is not critical. In such cases, you just need from time to time a little bit to give each other and rejoice, as it is pleasant to your soul mate. You have the same love in the end.


Second, if you still decided differences can work and do not throw in the trash 2-3-4 years into a relationship, you need to work out methods of how you’ll do it. Sometimes it is enough to talk with a partner, and sometimes we need to be smarter and even a little manipulative. Here’s what you can do if you have a guy with very different views on… anything!

The psychology of attitudes: show curiosity and try to understand

It is convenient always to do only what is pleasing to you. But what if sometimes it worth to leave one’s own comfort zone for the sake of a loved one? Try not to reject at once all idea of the partner that does not coincide with yours, but rather to understand what is behind it. He calls you camping? No need to give up right away, better think about what good this is: the romance of a starry sky, wine around the campfire and sleeping in a tent alone. Try earnestly to interest himself in this or at least go with you on a compromise. In the end, respect the interests of the partner — a good relationship is worth it.

Psychology of relationships: don’t take your “mismatches” too close to the heart

You are both formed as a personality before the meeting, so it was logical that everyone has their own preferences and what you absolutely do not like and what you are willing to accept. So no need to take each objection of the partner and the denial that you something like the attack on your side. He didn’t like sushi even before you officially became his girlfriend, it’s clear that he won’t like them now. After all, the guy doesn’t have to like what you like and you don’t have to love football more than shopping.

Psychology of relationships

Psychology of relationships: understand that you don’t always have and always do together

Well, not like your boyfriend, the theater — just go there with a friend! The fact that you love each other, does not mean that everything always have to do together. In the end, we have friends whose sacred responsibility to share all our Hobbies. So take a friend with you to the ballet, and the guy sends it to the rink with friends, and rest well, and quarrels avoid and even have time to miss each other.

The result is simple: your “difference” is not a sentence. It just means that you guy have to work on relationships a bit more than the others. But if you are ready for this and it is important for you to save them — love, listen, give in and do it!

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